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Dear Daughter,

It is with great pleasure and excitement that I tell you that we had our wedding. We had it at a big hotel in Newport Beach. It was so expensive. Sometimes I wonder if it is really worth it to spend all that money just for one day. Well, that's what your mom wants. All her other friends and family have been married. I had family and friends fly in from New York. Your mom had family come in from Indonesia and China. It was amazing. Your mom looked so beautiful. Not just in one dress, but the many she wore throughout the night. When you get married its actually hard to enjoy the wedding day for the married couple, since you are so busy throughout it. Daddy should know, since this is the second time I've been married (the first didn't work out, but we're friends). You have to go around and greet people, take pictures and thank everyone. It was a very busy day for us. Your uncle, my brother, was the best man and he did the toast. Grandma (your mom's mom) told him to be careful of his words, beforehand. I wonder what gave her the impression that he wouldn't?

The renovations for our apartment are taking very long. Your mom wants so many changes and we're going everywhere to get materials. I'm a bit exhausted from it. As I mentioned, it's very stressful. And there seems to be some noise problem in the early AM hours from the other apartment, but we're working on it with the association to hopefully correct that issue.

We're Mr. and Ms. X. Opps, well not really. You're mom decided to hyphenate her name. That's when you take your last name and attach it to the grooms last name. So it's Mr. X and Mrs. Y-X. Well, that doesn't matter, we're the married couple now. It's going to be peaches and cream going forward from now on.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

It is with great sorrow that I tell you that your uncle, my loving brother was killed in a tragic accident. This was the man who taught your daddy how to ride a bike. He helped me learn to swim. He used to love to take us to McDonalds and for Carvel ice cream when I was younger. He made some mistakes and learned some lessons. He was done with all that, and he told me before his death about how he was looking forward to being reunited with his 5 children and wife in Florida. Once again, we had a full house at the funeral home. There were so many people that showed up for his funeral, that the line of people flowed outside of the room. He was a good father and a good person to people. He was well loved. Grandma is very upset. We all are. A child should never die before their parents. It is a tragedy when that happens.

Overall, I'm a bit disappointed with your mom. She is not coming to New York to support me like she did for Grandpa's death. Everyone keeps asking for her. Where is she, they ask me? I really, really needed her, but I understand that she had other things to attend to. I love her so much, that I forgave her for not coming. It would have been good to have her here, but I am very patient with her.

Your grandpa thinks we should postpone our wedding, and I actually agree with him, but your mom won't have that. She want's to go ahead full steam and as planned. She certainly is a go-getter when it comes to certain things.

The last time I wrote to you, I spoke about our home purchase and renovations. They have gone on quite longer than your mom expected. Home renovations are very time consuming and stressful. I'm trying to keep my wits about me. Unfortunately, I heard a lot of noise coming from a neighboring apartment the other day. It's making me a bit nervous because it's not the first time this happened. Your mom promised us that it would be quiet here. If you recall, I voiced my opinion to her about apartment living, but I made some concessions in regards to her wanting the property, because I love her so much. I hope this noise is not a continual problem for us.

Your mom still isn't getting the point that I still need my space. She keeps agreeing to it, but she keeps contradicting herself. I'll continue to be patient with her but I don't like how she insults my family sometimes when she gets upset.

I think I mentioned to you in the past that mommy got a new job. Well, she really doesn't like her manager. She keeps ripping into this guy every time she comes home to talk about her day. She also still lays it into her cousin, for giving free car washes out again. Are these people really as bad as she says they are? I listen patiently but wonder that I'd hate to be on the receiving end of that and I hope I never am. I'll be patient with her, because as I said, I do love her.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

Your mom doesn't waste any time. It's not even a month since I proposed and she is already home shopping despite there being a huge economic crisis in the housing market. Yes. Many people have lost much of their life savings as a result. Banks are failing left and right. The company I once worked for, Lehman bros closed their doors. Unfortunately, I lost all the stock that I owned from them as an employee. Oh boy. I'm excited but nervous because of the crazy real estate market. That doesn't stop your mom. She is a go-getter when it comes to real estate. She already owns two properties. She sure is hungry for more.

I decided to move in with your mom so we could save the rent money and apply it to a new home.

I keep reminding your mom about the fact that she will get the most loyal man and all she has to do is give me my space. Although she agreed, we're finding it hard for her to differentiate between giving me my space, and my duties as a soon to be husband. I'm trying to remind her, but she gets very upset with me when I hang out with my friends or family. She has a bit of a habit of insulting them as well.

I told your mom that I never want to live in an apartment ever again. You see, I've moved so much from apartment to apartment that I see the complications when people live next to or on top of other people. Some people can be very selfish and inconsiderate of their neighbors, especially when they share walls. She really doesn't seem to be listening to me though and she is insisting on buying this 3 bedroom apartment that is in the same location as where we are living now. I reminded her again and she started to cry. I held her close and asked her why she is crying, and she said that she really wants this new apartment. I reminded her about my requirements and she started to cry even more, then she told me she really likes the place. She even went as far as to promise me that it would be quiet like her apartment and that the renovations would only take 3 months. I said, renovations???

Remember what daddy said about compromise, and its importance in a relationship? Well, guess what? Daddy decided to compromise for your mommy. I guess I love her so much. I love her so much that I ignored all my concerns and issues that I've had in the past and the fact that there is a financial crisis going on. It looks like we're going to be new home buyers of an apartment after all. Guess what? Your mom even asked me to pay for it all. I'm just going to go with what she says because I love her so much.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

It is with great happiness and absolute nervousness that I tell you your mom and I got engaged! I really do love her a lot. Since she stuck up for me when Grandpa died in that fight we had with your uncle and aunt, I decided she is the one. I'm a bit nervous about this though, and I'm not the only one. You see my best friend, my brother and my cousin are all concerned that I might be making the wrong decision here. I really love her a lot, plus she is wealthy. Not that money is important. Love and respect should always be first. Life should be comfortable for me going forward. I've worked hard and earned my way but it helps to have a wife that comes from wealth, right? I mean she probably doesn't have bad habits with money and she is probably not dependent on her parents for everything (I hope). You know daddy did rely on his parents for a long time when he was growing up, but once I launched from their home I've been independent since.

I proposed to your mom on an island in San Francisco on her birthday. Isn't that romantic? We were taking photos of flowers on the island and I put the ring in front of her camera while she was taking a photo of one flower in particular. Then I got on one knee and proposed to her. Do you believe that she started to yell at me to tell me to get out of the way of the camera? Here I am proposing to her and she says get out of my way. But once she realized what I was doing she loosened up and was happy about it.

For a long time your mom was pressing me to get married. She kept on mentioning your aunt's wedding and Erica and Neil's marriage, some of her good friends. Everything was marriage, marriage, and more marriage. Of course, I love your mom and want to make her happy so I decided to do it!

Just to let you know that weeks before, I went to your grandpa and asked him if it was okay to ask your mom to marry me. He was happy about it and so was your grandma.

Something was strange about that trip to San Francisco. Before I proposed, I could sense something was awry with your mom. Daddy is like you. I am a highly sensitive person. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact many important people and rulers have been highly sensitive. It serves a very unique purpose that I will touch upon in future postings.

Anyway, your mom already has the photographer, marriage guy (not sure what you would call him since it's not a priest), DJ and everything else already prepared a month after I proposed. Holy cow!

I do have a couple of concerns. I reinforced the idea to your mom that I need my space. I told her again, I will be the most loyal man to her, but I need her to give me my space. I've mentioned what that means in a previous post to you. I hope you remember. I know your mom has a problem with organized religion as well. I told her if we have kids, they would have to be brought up Christian. Thankfully she agreed.

Aside from that, me and your mom got into a couple of arguments. You see your mom was talking to her ex-boyfriend through email. I told her that is not appropriate and she continued to do so. She also got a male personal trainer, when I suggested that she shouldn't. She apologized and promised that it wouldn't happen again. I guess I get so jealous sometimes with your mom, but I'm not the jealous type. I just want some respect. I had the same issue with an ex-girlfriend reaching out to me, and I told your mom, and when she told me to stop talking with her, I did immediately. I feel bad because I didn't tell my ex that I was cutting off communication with her. I really liked my ex. She was a good person. I feel bad for cutting her off like that. It's good though that your mom gave her ex some notice about it. At least someone didn't get hurt too badly from this.

Oh! One other thing I'm very excited about is that daddy put a deposit on a car called the Aptera and it is an electric/solar/hybrid vehicle. I'm number 891 on the list to get the car. I'm really excited about it. Imagine that, an electric car with solar panels. What a novel idea. I'll be able to drive it everywhere without ever having to stop for gas. Maybe this is the wave of the future. Imagine, electric vehicles everywhere with electric charging stations on every corner. How exciting.

Anyway, plans for you are on the way. I'm nervous but looking forward to it.

Love,
Your loving Dad

Dear Daughter,

I am sorry to say that your Grandpa in New York fought a tough battle against cancer and he unfortunately passed away in September. I've been going back to New York every three months since Grandpa got sick to spend a few weeks with them each time, to help around the house. They have been really good at my work, allowing me to go back to the office in Manhattan where I used to work before I moved. But his time finally came and he is now with God in heaven.

Grandpas funeral was nice. He was a very loved man with so many friends. We couldn't pack everyone into the funeral home it was so crowded. There were two soldiers there that provided a military funeral honor. They folded the U.S. flag and presented it to Grandma. It was very touching. Grandma was crying.

Your mom was great support. She flew out right away and helped me feel better about everything. We were at home after the funeral and I got into an argument with your aunt and uncle and your mom jumped in to defend me. I was real proud of your mom for sticking up for me. I guess things get stressful sometimes when people pass away. Later on, your uncle stated that he didn't think it was appropriate for her to get involved since she really wasn't family. Everyone made up afterwards, so all was good.

Grandpa's ashes will be spread up in the mountains in New York. Grandma made a joke that the deer that Grandpa used to hunt are now going to pee on his ashes as payback for trying to shoot them. We all laughed. She is so funny sometimes. We're all sad to say goodbye to Grandpa. He will be missed.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

One important part of a relationship is being able to listen. Your mom thinks I'm the best listener. She would come home from work at night, and I would be like her personal psychologist. Your mom was at a company that was going out of business. I would listen to her stories all night and respond to her giving her advice whenever I saw fit.

The one thing I had a problem with, was her ability to really dig in negatively towards people. There was this one guy in the office that she didn't like. I guess he smoked and used his hands after smoking to reach in a candy jar or something. This would infuriate your mom, to the point that she would rip this guy to shreds verbally. I didn't see a big deal with it. One day I met this guy at one of her company lunches and he seemed pretty nice. I got along with him very well. He didn't smell or wasn't dirty or insulting like your mom said. I'm not sure why she said all those things about him, but it brings me to another issue regarding your mom's cousin.

I guess your mom's cousin worked at the car wash or his dad did or something. He was giving all his friends in his automobile club free car washes. She would rip into him every chance she got. The funny thing is, I liked him too. He gave us a nice Christmas gift last year.

My mother, your grandma, always used to say, "if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all". That was usually when she was receiving criticism. lol! Now that I think back to it, your grandmother never speaks ill of anyone and neither does your grandfather. They are two wonderful people. Granpa is not feeling too well. I wish I was there to hug them both.

Love,
Dad

Dear Daughter,

Your mom and I went to Hawaii. How fun was that! We went to the Big Island and visited the North Shore to hang out with the turtles. We then went to Pearl Harbor to show our respect to the people that died during the war there. I even bought a flag that was flown on one of the surviving ships that were in the harbor during WWII. Your mom and I are getting very cozy together. We're so in love.

Your mom is already asking about marriage. She is so sweet. I would love to get married to her, but we need a little bit more time together. I told your mom that if we were to get married, I still need my space. I told her that she will have the most loyal man in the world if she were the type of woman that would allow me to have my space. Space means time to myself, or with my friends or with my family and she can have her space.

We did have a little incident that happened together. Your mom and I just got out of a restaurant. We parked about a block away and it was nighttime. On our way to the car, your mom and I got into an argument about the topic of giving me my space. I guess she doesn't like to share me. Sometimes she says she is okay with it, but often, actions speak louder than words. She got angry a few times when I exercised that, so called space, that I need. Granted, I could have been a little more courteous to her in some of those situations.

The argument got heated and there was a police officer coming by with the window down on his patrol car. Your mom looked at the police office and started to raise her voice even louder, as if she were in trouble. The police officer got out of his vehicle and looked at me and then her, and he asked her if she was okay or if I was harassing her. Your mom calmed down with a smile on her face and said, "yes officer, everything is okay". What your mom did there was bring some false attention to herself in order to make me feel threatened. Well, I wasn't happy with that and on the way back to your grandparents we argued more. I ended up forgiving her. She said she would never do that again, and I believe her. I love her so much.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

Your mother and I are very much in love. Recently, I had moved from my place by the beach to a bigger place in a really nice area. There's a theatre here and plenty of restaurants. They have a nice big pool and a lot of really cool people, it seems. Your mom went with me to sign the lease. When we got to the leasing office, she started to cry. I held her and asked her why she was crying and she said to me that it was because we were not doing this together. Your mom loves me so much that she wanted us both to live together. I was so touched by that. I felt really good about it, but sad for her. I thought to myself that it might be too soon for that, and besides her place is only one bedroom. I have too much junk to bring with me. Also perhaps another reason why I didn't want to move in with her was because an incident occurred between her and I. You see, on the way up to your grandparents to spend the weekend, your mom and I got into an argument in the car. Arguments are normal. People sometimes disagree with one another. In relationships we often need to communicate and sometimes compromise to settle our differences. Those are very big parts of a successful relationship. A big problem is when one of the parties get physical. Unfortunately, your mom started hitting me on the way up to your grandparents. She smacked me a number of times on my face. I was deeply surprised by this and I told her to turn around and bring me home. She begged me to continue to your grandparents and I was upset and sat in my seat sulking and silent. When we got up to your grandparents and we got out of the car, I told your mother that hitting was never to happen again. I told her that I would never get physical with a woman for any reason. and that she is to never hit me ever again or I will leave her. Your mom started to cry and begged me stating that she would never do it again. I believe your mom and I love her very much, but I don't have much tolerance for antics like that. I gave her another chance. If she does it again, I will certainly leave her. I honestly don't understand what came over her, but I forgive her and I can move on.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

The relationship between your mom and I has progressed rapidly. Sometimes, I wonder if she has some secret agenda to snatch me off the market. She's always talking about your aunt's wedding and how great it was. That's okay if she does talk about it. I really like your mom a lot. I'm going to tell you a secret, that I hope you can keep. I told your mom that I love her first in our relationship, but let's pretend that she said it first, okay? It will be our little secret. We've done a lot of traveling together. We've visited Mexico and San Francisco and we even went to Asia. In Asia we met your great great grandparents, your great aunt and second cousin and a whole bunch of other family members. Everyone there seems to have as big a home as your grandparents do in the USA. In Asia your family had servants and drivers and we got massages every single day right at their home. Your great aunts were amazed that I could eat any street food and never get sick. I love exploring the world and taking crazy risks like that. It adds to the experience. I have a pretty good stomach for a white guy. In China, people kept giving me a fork when we sat down to eat. They were surprised when I showed them how good I was with chopsticks. On our trip to Asia we went on a tour bus in China and your mom hit it off with another gentlemen our age. She would talk to him all throughout the bus tour, even sit next to him. I never complained, but I did mention it to her. Your mom said that it was because he was Asian too, and that they had many similar experiences in their childhood. She also came up with the typical excuse to disengage a man's jealousy by telling me he was gay. That means he only has feelings for other men. That's okay, I give her 'E' for effort, and quickly forgot about it. I'm not a jealous person. It's just that I love your mom so much. While in China, both your mom and I realized that people were starring at us as they walked by. We asked the tour guide why that might be the case and he told us that it was not common in China for an Asian woman to be with a Euromerican™. We understood right away. It's also not a common occurrence in the U.S. Your mom and I rarely see that combination of couples at home. I told her that we had, what I coined, as a "fusion-love", and we were the first of our kind. We both laughed. I bought a knapsack in China. It was the best design, had so many zippers and pockets. Over the course of the next few days the bag disintegrated in front of my eyes. Zippers came off, pockets ripped. Lesson learned, be careful when buying stuff there. It may look good and costs cheap, you may have a problem with it later. Well, maybe one day you will visit Asia with your mom and I in the future, after you are born.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

You’re such a lucky girl to be born in such a wonderful country. Your great grandparents on my mom’s side came to America to escape persecution and poverty. Your great grandparents on my dad’s side came here because of extreme poverty and corruption where they lived. They came on ships and around that time it could take up to 12 weeks to get from Europe to New York. Many people died on those ships from disease. It wasn't easy trip for them. Unfortunately, both families experienced some form of bias when they arrived in America for religious differences and believe it or not, the color of their skin (since my Dad’s side were Southern Europeans - that's why you have a beautiful yearly tan that I'm jealous of) They overcame the challenges they faced and thrived in this country. Here are their birth certificates.

Now to the lesson. You’ve probably learned much of this in school, but hopefully you don’t mind the refresher. What makes this country so good is that we have a constitution. Some men decided a long time ago that it would be a good idea to put these laws on the land in the place, and they did a really good job because our Constitution is the longest surviving written charter of government.

The Bill of Rights is the 10 Amendments of the Constitution (there are more). It guarantees civil rights and liberties to individuals like freedom of speech, press and religion. The First Amendment in the Bill of Rights, protects freedom of speech, the press, assembly and other free speech issues. Speech should never be inhibited. I know you tell Daddy that sometimes I talk too much, and I agree, but this is different in the respect that some people want to prevent people from speaking so that they can get their way. They might have a cause they want to push their agenda for that might not be good for all.

Let me tell you how the First Amendment grew on me. In College my favorite class was speech. (I know you’ll agree with that, because I talk too much.) In speech, we were given the task of being for or against flag burning. During that time, there was a lot of political unrest in the middle east and people were burning the American flag even in the U.S. and as a patriotic young man, I thought yeah, it’s okay if they wrap themselves in it first (that means suicide, which I didn’t condone). I did a pretty good job on the speech and the class for which I got an 'A'. It wasn’t until years that I realized the point that the professor was trying to get across. By denying them the right to burn the flag, I am silencing their right to freedom of speech. Enlightenment, despite being a late bloomer, and despite my disagreement with torching the old red and white and blue, I’ll never stop them, unless it’s on my lawn. Lol

The First Amendment applies to my postings here because it is my right to say what I want. Now, that's not to say that I can't be held responsible for lying. If I were to say something false about someone and it caused them some damage to their reputation, that would be defamation, specifically known as libel. Libel is when a false statement about someone is published in any type of written form and it causes some damage to their reputation. So, Daddy has to be very careful and only tell the truth and I'm accumulating evidence for everything I write in the event that you do see this information sometime in the future. I may have an opinion and speculate about something, and I want you to make sure you understand the difference between fact and opinion.

The First Amendment also applies to your freedom to practice religion. No one should ever take that right from you. When I was visiting in China I met up with a friend and she invited me to church on a Sunday. I happily accepted. Their Christian church was very small, about the size of two of your bedrooms put together. Everyone was so happy and nice there. They asked me to speak to them about my life in America. They sang and prayed, but they also worried. You see their government restricts religion because the they believe it conflicts with the ideology of their laws. The church I was at was transitory, meaning that it was never at the same place each time for fear that it would be shutdown and they could be arrested. I know you don't like your Sunday school class, but try and use that time to ponder on the direction of your life and how you can stay happy. If you think about the laws of this great land, they were borrowed from the ideas brought over by Christianity. Thou shalt not steal or kill. Remember those right?

Daddy has a friend that had the same judge as me for our custody case. This man told the truth about what was happening with his family online in their custody case. The judge was being unfair and ordered a restraining order against this man preventing him from seeing his children. The same judge told him he could no longer do that and ordered him to stop and remove the content. He filed an appeal against the judge's decision to silence him and won. Imagine that. A judge that went against the constitution, the very fabric of laws of this great nation. This same judge made a big mistake in my case. It was not as severe as his but it prevented me from getting the help that I need to care for you.

Justice is the ethical, philosophical idea that people are to be treated impartially, fairly, properly, and reasonably by the law and by arbiters of the law, that laws are to ensure that no harm befalls another, and that, where harm is alleged, a remedial action is taken - both the accuser and the accused receive a morally right consequence merited by their actions.

Due Process is fair treatment through the normal judicial system, especially as a citizen's entitlement.

Corruption is a dishonest, fraudulent, or even criminal act of an individual or organization, using entrusted authority or power to make a personal gain or a gain for another individual or institution.

Prejudice in favor of or against one thing, person, or group compared with another, usually in a way considered to be unfair.

Favoritism is the practice of giving unfair preferential treatment to one person or group at the expense of another.

Unethical not morally correct.

Perjury the criminal offense of making a false statement under oath, either in writing or verbally that one knows is false, and that is material to the proceedings in which the statement is made.

Appeal apply to a higher court for a reversal of a decision made by a lower court.

Harassment any unwanted behavior, physical or verbal (even suggested), that makes a reasonable person feel uncomfortable, humiliated, or mentally distressed.

libel is a published or written false statement that is damaging to a person's reputation

Restraining order a court order issued to prohibit an individual from carrying out a particular action, especially approaching or contacting a specified person.

That's it for now. I'll add more definitions further when I tell more history about your mom and I.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

This past weekend I met your grandparents on your mom's side. We drove up to their home in the evening on Friday, and we stayed the entire weekend. I was very impressed with the size of their home as we pulled up to the gate. I knew your mom was wealthy, but I didn't realize how wealthy they were. I don't think I've been in a 10 bedroom home before. Well, maybe once, back when I lived across country for a black-tie event for a former boss. Your grandparents had a nice pool and a tennis court on the property. Very impressive.

I slept in the money room. I called it the money room because everything was some light tone of green. The furniture, bed sheets and I think even the bathroom was green. A bit monotonous but interesting, nonetheless.
Your uncle and aunt were there and your great grandma. Your mom showed me around the place, and we played some pool. I don't know how she always manages to beat me.

The next day we had a long chat with your grandma. We talked about investing and she showed us the jewelry she made. I like the fact that she watches the same news show as I do. I see that your grandma likes to wear moomoo dresses around the house, since she wore them all weekend. I could tell she was a little uncomfortable around me for the first time. She kept adjusting it in my presence. I tried not to look and turned away often, just to be polite. I don't think your mom dated a lot of Asian men. Your grandma told me that I was the closest to Asian you mom has been with. In fact your mom told me the same. Maybe my eyes, and possibly because I ate any of the Chinese food that your family brought to the table. Well, maybe not the chicken feet. We had chickens and they would step in a lot of crazy stuff.

I noticed your grandpa has a stuffed tiger in the living room. Your other grandpa (my dad), despite being an avid deer hunter was big on conservation. He might not appreciate that fact, so I never told him. He hasn't been feeling very well lately. Overall, everyone was very welcoming and friendly to me. Your grandma knew that I like beer, so they stacked the entire fridge with beer. It looked like something from a rap video. Me and your uncle had one or two of them. I also met their good friend of the family. He seems to be a nice guy. Overall, it seemed to be a good experience.

I saw a picture of your mom with her cousins. Is there any reason that she is the lightest one out of all of them?

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

Today your mom and I went out to dinner for the first time with your aunt and uncle. This is the first time I've met them. I think your mom likes me a lot so it was nice to see her make this move. Things are moving a bit fast. We had a nice dinner but I felt a little awkward not being the same ethnicity as everyone at the table. It's not something that they did. It's just something I felt inside. To be honest I thought I wouldn't be as accepted for that reason, but they made me feel very comfortable. They were very nice and we hit it off right away. Your uncle likes to golf so hopefully we will set something up soon.

P.S. Your mom told me, that if her family asks where we meet, she said to tell them we met through a common friend. It's still a bit of a taboo concept nowadays to meet someone online. So I will go on pretending. I guess your mom really likes to keep her image up.

Love, Your Dad