DearDaughter

Dear Daughter,

I love you, my dearest daughter. We had a good last week together despite the continued third party harassment that your mother and grandfather have deployed against me. It is certainly getting harder to deal with, which they are hoping for. I continue to stay strong despite their continued attacks on us while they constantly put our safety in jeopardy. Your mom and grandpa are buffered from the ugly side of this criminal harassment. It’s easy for them to just throw money at the “problem” while hoping I go away.

I want to go into detail about the ugly truth relating to your mom’s direct actions which are just as bad as the continued third party harassment that I experience from them. This might be the tough truth about your mom and too much for you to bear. I still have a problem grasping the capacity that some people have for bad behavior while being oblivious to the damage that they create. It’s your decision to continue reading or not. This abuse accompanied by the third party harassment that your mother’s family hired are overwhelming to bear. I find myself falling into the same pitfalls that they intentionally create for me over and over again.

Probably one of the most damaging and destructive things that your mother has done was her strategizing with her attorney for the use of minor’s counsel. This strategy started around the time I relocated to Los Angeles to be closer to you, about the year 2019. Your mom played the long game with this strategy which is why it was so destructive to everyone involved.

Minor’s counsel is a family law attorney that represents the interests of the child. To simplify the description of their job, I would tell you this person works solely for your interests (the child), and goes to court to get you what you request when one or more of the parents disagree. You, as the child would converse with this attorney and tell them the issue and what you are lacking. They would then go to court to fight for your interests. Do you want to start playing ice hockey? Sure, she’ll go to court to fight for your right to do so, despite one parent thinking it’s dangerous, or the parent thinking it is too expensive. If you want to start playing football, she’ll absolutely take the offensive for you in court. Starting at $400 per hour and up, billed to the parents, there is absolutely all the incentive for them to represent you, whenever they can.

Here’s the kicker to all of this, as I mentioned, your mom was playing the long game with this strategy. She was hoping that for some reason you would be unhappy living with daddy because he makes you go to church, or unhappy with the fact that daddy lives in an apartment, whereas mommy just bought a million dollar home and turned it into a McMansion with a swimming pool and big backyard. Perhaps mommy got a whole bunch of dogs and daddy can’t have dogs because he lives in an apartment. You just go and tell your minor’s counsel, that you want to live with mommy most of the time, and minimize daddy’s time to just every other weekend. She will fight for what you want and your mommy will be very happy about that decision, hoping it goes in her favor. It’s the chance to eliminate daddy from the picture or at least gain full control of you and make his life a living hell. I’m simplifying the concept of the purpose of minor’s counsel but the idea is just that, and your mom was hoping for this to happen.

They came up with this plan a long time ago, and put this idea in your mom’s head that it might work. There is nothing better to fill an attorneys coffers than to have a long term strategy in the works. How do I know this was a long term strategy? Shortly after my move to Los Angeles, it came in as a request from your mom and they never stopped requesting us to agree to it and over again until they finally went to court for it after years of pushing for it. To this day I cannot understand why your mother would want to subject you to something so traumatizing as this. Thankfully the story doesn’t end the best for mommy and her scheme.

So, minor’s counsel is half of the problem. The other half involves two quarters of further strategy in preparation for that day when mommy goes to court to request minor’s counsel. How do we prepare the long game for this? One quarter is simple. Brainwash you into rejecting everything daddy wants in your life, while creating chaos surrounding those decisions that he makes for you. The ones he is praying that you will also be interested in as well.

One example of this brainwashing, if you remember, is related to daddy’s desire for you to be in religious instruction which only takes place two times every month on Sundays and you only attend these when they fall on Daddy’s weekends, not mentioning the many you miss because religious instruction falls on mommy’s weekend. One time this conflicted with one of the 2 to 4 soccer games that you have each weekend, while practicing 3 to 4 times each week between three different teams. Well, your mom went to court for that and wasted all our time and money and guess what? She lost, but not until she brainwashed you into thinking that daddy is wrong and you don’t need to go to religious instruction because it’s wrong and God may not exist and it’s wrong and there is Buddha and Allah and it’s wrong there is every other God out there, and it’s wrong, why does daddy want you to believe in Jesus? Do you remember when you started becoming rebellious towards daddy about how you don’t want to do the things I want you to do and how I didn’t support you. Mommy’s words verbatim. She even admitted in email to encouraging you this way.

Let’s move on from that one. Remember the time when you wanted to watch your friends play in their soccer game that rainy weekend day and I demanded that you eat lunch, then your mom came around and made a scene telling me to let you do what you want, and allow you to watch the game your friends were playing, and mommy got into an argument with daddy in public? Baby, you had to eat your lunch before you could watch the game. I was not going to let you miss the nutrition that you needed, especially on a game day on Daddy’s weekend. Then, do you remember us eating your lunch and watching this game from the comfort and dryness of daddy’s car despite mommy’s interference? I remember how it took me quite a while to clean all the mud out of every crevice of my vehicle from that day. If it wasn’t for your mom’s interference in that situation, I would say that was one of the most memorable moments that we’ve had together. To this day your mom tries to use this issue and others against me where she flips the script to make me look like the bad guy.

I digress to the matter at hand. How did I recognize the brainwashing? It was easy to see this with many issues as I mentioned, I watched both your mom and you repeating the exact same terms verbatim about your desire not to do something or to do something or that it’s bad that daddy... I addition, your mother also gave you certain decision making authority that you were unable to make at your age. It’s called parentification, when the child becomes the parent in decision making. Poisoning a child’s mind against a parent is parental alienation. Many people in the family law industry consider these acts to be child abuse and I tend to agree with them.

That’s the first quarter. The other quarter of this strategy involves inciting daddy in mom’s emails to him, and in her actions in an attempt to make daddy look like the bad guy just for defending himself from mom’s attacks and with the help of mommy’s attorney in creating these fine responses to incite daddy she can make them look real good to a judge and daddy will look real bad. To this day your mom shouts from her pulpit about how bad a parent I am, for one of the tens of complaints that she has about my parenting, she argues that I’ve blocked her from texting me. And to this day I still can’t understand why she would want to brag about that fact. There is a reason, that I limit my communications with your mother. To put it plainly, she is abusive, passive aggressive in her communications and manipulative in her actions. I could run through the gamut of examples but there are so many. Perhaps one day I’ll update this post to include them.

Put it all together, and add the absolute inflexibility in her parenting as a result of her prolonged obsessive anger with daddy, grandpas constant bad mouthing of daddy, and a couple of other things that you may not understand, and you have a recipe for abusive and traumatic behavior, child abuse and domestic violence. Add the stalking and harassment by proxy (third party) that I’ve endured, throw it into the mix and you have criminal actions punishable by the law, add a little corruption and extortion and you’ve got a party.

The end result of all of these abuses perpetrated by your mom and grandpa is that your mom recently went to court to request minor’s counsel and lost, but not without all the fallout and devastation that she has created for at least 5 years, as a result of the abuse she gave me, preparing for her big day in court. All that preparation, all that abusive behavior towards me in preparing for this day. Time that could have been spent working together on parenting you. To this day the abuse hasn’t stopped. It’s sad to say that your mom has turned all that strategy into a continual bad habit.

If you recall, I have been pushing for a psychologist to help us in co-parenting. When a problem would arise, this co-parent counselor would get us both on the phone and hash out our differences for a fraction of the cost of minor’s counsel without exposing you to something so traumatic, like having some stranger fight against mommy or daddy in court, or worse, requiring you to go to court to speak in front of other people and with the judge. As I mentioned, I’ve asked mommy to do this with daddy dozens of times, and she either denies or ignores my request to get this help we desperately need. Doing this would be too easy and detrimental to the strategy that she was hoping would work out for her.

I’m going to end this post by saying that I’m proud of myself, while I give myself a pretty big pat on the back for what I’ve had to deal with from your mom and grandpa. I’m not a perfect parent but your mom has caused a lot of damage to all of us, not just me. The problem is that she just won’t stop. If she is unhappy then she needs her family to help her, not to cheer her on fighting indefinitely. I keep wondering why isn’t your grandma standing up and saying this is wrong? Why isn’t the family friend R not stepping up to the plate and saying that this needs to end? I want to say that I love my family so much for their support through all this. I have certain friends that have stuck through all this as well. I thank them too. God bless them all for their kindness and patience with me while I deal with the turmoil needlessly created.

Love, Daddy

[work in progress]

Dear Daughter,

I love you with all my heart. You are everything to me. I had to leave you again. I know you are not happy about it. You mean everything to me. I want you to know that if anything happens to me, I will still love you with all my heart and soul. The last time I left was to heal from the damage that your mom and grandfather had inflicted on me through emails, through the courts, by means of third party harassment and online posts. This time I have left for my own safety and protection, which I will explain further. This is a post of the most recent events that have occurred within the last year of this posting. I will further continue posting a timeline of events that occurred after the false accusations and arrest that occurred years ago, but for now I am going to inform you of what is going on in the present.

I’ve already informed you of my relationship with your mom, some of the past actions your mom and grandfather have perpetrated against me, and things related to you as a baby. The general purpose of these posts it to tell you about a continued harassment that I’ve experienced throughout the duration of your life. From what I can see, they are blaming me for the series of events that have occurred throughout your lifetime. I want to assure you that much of this is because of their offending actions against me. They want me out of your life. The general purpose of these anonymous posts is to explain to you, the reason why, in the event that I have to leave you permanently. As of now, I have a deep concern for my personal safety because the harassment has escalated. I will explain further.

A year ago, I was contacted by someone that knows your mom and grandfather very well. They informed me that your grandfather contacted them directly, informing me that your grandfather had a concern for your safety in my care, and that he wanted me out of your life. They mentioned that your grandfather would do everything in his power to get rid of me once and for all. Throughout the many years of your life, the abuse I have received has shown this to be truth. Instead of continuing this harassment, your grandfather should have just contacted me personally, and spoke with me about the issues he had. Instead he let his hatred of me fester even further, propagating this hatred to everyone he discussed our issues with, even with you, all of this while he continues to listen and believe every lie provided to him by your mother. This has caused me great distress and expended many resources between all of us that could have been avoided. I think of the amount of success stolen from me because of the amount of negative resources they both inflicted upon me.

The ironic part of this this scenario is that the people your grandfather hired to harass me, actually put your life and my life in danger almost a dozen times already. The reality is that I haven’t put your life in danger once. I’ve always been a protective parent, very concerned with your safety at all times. I’ve come to my opinions about the dynamics surrounding the relationships between your mom, grandfather, and the third party harassment team, and my conclusions about this “concerned safety matter” is that they likely have not once informed your grandfather about the times they did put your life in danger. Why should they? They’ve made a bundle in money from your grandfather already. I’m sure your grandfather and the harassers could care less about my life. I want to believe that their only concern is the fact that your grandfather is very wealthy and they want a piece of that money. I’ve tried to inform your mom of this fact with multiple innuendos in emails, while trying to be careful to avoid having her abuse her favorite accusatory keyword that she loves to sing, “delusional”. From her responses, I don’t think she actually wants to believe me or cares for that matter. As I mentioned, there are many dynamics related to that as well. In court paperwork I’ve seen the same words chanted by your mom’s mom, your aunt and your grandfather as well as friends of the family. When I saw those words written, I thought to myself, how planned this all was when they manage to use the same exact word to describe me in their court statements, declarations and written letters to psychological forensic evaluators (we had two of them), when all my dealings with your family in the past have been far from that. The fact that they are willing to lie in court documents and the fear this stigma might bring upon me, is what kept me from going to the police. My fear of losing you because of their lies has led me to keep this a secret for so long. It’s a painful secret that I’ve managed to keep for such a long time and I’m not sure as to how much longer I can bare their abuses. Do you know how much damage having to keep a secret like that can be to someone. I do. I kept that a secret all for you, so that I wouldn’t lose you to your mother and grandfather’s schemes.

Interestingly enough, and for some odd reason the thoughts of how your grandmother (your mom’s mom) used to cook for her dogs fresh meats daily constantly comes to mind. She would buy them the best top of the line beef, and chicken and boil them in a pot for hours to cook them for these overfed and overweight dogs. This concoction of meats would cook on her center island stove in their huge kitchen, in their 10+ bedroom home while the blaring of Fox news would echo throughout the lower level of their house from their 80 inch television that hung over the kitchen table. Coincidentally, here I am now, in hiding, I see the same concoctions of food cooking in big vats of water or oil with the animal fats bubbling in a stew of pork, beef, chicken, sea creature dejour or an unrecognizable potluck combination of all of the above, all the while I see many neglected dogs on the streets without homes, constantly scratching from the mosquitos bites that plague every mammal in this country. The dogs wander the streets aimlessly looking for that one person to feed them. I’ve managed to adopt two of them that sit by my side for most of the day. I bring them whatever scraps I have left and at one point I’ll get the strength to bathe them, but their smell still prevents me from doing so. I think to myself how much I feel like one of those dogs. Despite me wanting nothing to do with your mother’s family, and just wanting to have my fair share of time to care for you uninterrupted, I see and feel the disparity that these dogs feel. I often wonder if your grandmother saw me on the streets, would she feed or kick me to the streets like most of the people do in this country? Based on the harassment I have received from your mom’s family throughout all these years, I can only think that the would likely kick me away to the curb, yelling frantically while I scurry away with my head and tail down in a sorry state that I see these dogs experience. The reason I believe this is because I have already experienced this from your grandfather and your mother on multiple occasions, but with even more veracity. It’s no surprise that your grandfather just did that a few weeks ago. I approached him asking him to make peace and work with me on solving the issues that we all had. The amount of animosity he showed be what just as if he had kicked that dog to the street, but over and over again. I feel like that beaten dog.

I have informed you that they have constantly lied about me, defamed my name, stolen my money through means of the courts, and other horrific actions I would not wish on my worst enemy. Their actions and the actions of their attorney is despicable to say the least.

As I informed you in the past, the harassment has gotten so bad for me that I was planning on leaving the state of California to escape your grandfather and mother’s abuse. I was asked to relocate to the South East from my job. I even put an offer to buy a property there. It was an absolutely beautiful 30 acre farm with a handsome modern cabin and a horse stable in the rolling hills. My thoughts were that I could leave the hell inflicted on me by your mother and grandfather and share my life with you uninterrupted in the summer and school breaks without their horrific reach and the harassment they have perpetrated against me. A formal proposal was made to your mom’s attorney informing her of our intention and letting her know that we would waive the 5 years of child support she refused to pay and fought so adamantly to evade. As with every other issue that we would bring to the table through your mom and her attorney, the request was ignored. What resulted, was that I missed the opportunity to make the purchase of this new home. In addition, my job was terminated as a result of the fact that I did not provide them an answer promptly that I would relocate to the state that my company had their primary business in. I so wanted to share the beauty of that new life I was going to have. Your mom has, yet again, destroyed another dream of mine because of her own selfish needs.

Over the last year, I have been harassed through social media, my computers and laptops have been hacked, my browser sessions have been hijacked, my WIFI has been attacked. When that individual confronted me about your your grandfather’s intentions about a year ago, what followed was a week long personal surveillance of me by vehicle. My conclusion is that the vehicular surveillance was primarily performed by professionals, likely current or former law enforcement. With discarded oaths to protect the people, they now use the tools paid for by public taxes with the original intention to stop criminals, now to stalk and harass me. It’s a shameful thing. How is your grandfather paying them? Perhaps with the cash he makes from his business he gives as donations to their organization or by other illegal means.

When I returned the first time from escaping your mother’s abuse, I returned only to be immediately thrown into the same abuse she has given me in emails over the last many years. Over the last month, my home has been broken into and property was destroyed. I suspected that this was occurring over the past few years but never to the extent that I saw recently. I wonder how your grandfather would feel if someone broke into his home and rifled through his things. Once again I was threatened by an individual on the street repeating something alluding to the fact that I need to cease my pursuit of justice in the family court system. This is not right. Your mom needs to pay for the lies she has made.

A year ago, individuals on social media impersonated someone I once knew and cared about. They claimed to be her and in a group effort they bullied me online, leaving me shattered and heartbroken. It got so bad that I sent a cease and desist letter to the social media company. What followed was a barrage of posts of letters I had written to your mother towards the end of our relationship. They were re-written but the content remained the same. My thoughts were that they used artificial intelligence to re-write the letters before they were posted. It was at that time I realized that it was your mom or someone working for your mom. At the point of confronting your mother about it, she actually admitted to knowing this person. I was in so much fear for the safety of this person that I cared about, I considered contacting her family to let them know what was going on. I feared that your mom had reached out to them, like she had done to other women in my past, and harassed them as well. My mind started to sink even worse and I thought that she might be in danger. I was ready to contact this person’s family to check on their safety and I even considered reaching out to the police or the FBI in Los Angeles to report this as an issue. Imagine how much chaos your mother and grandfather have created just to harass me? To this day, I often wonder if they caused all the problems that this person and I had prior to our falling out. We had our problems and some of the statements she expressed to me at the end of our relationship led me to believe that this person, that I cared about, was contacted by someone associated with your mother and grandfather for nefarious reasons, thus creating tension between us causing an end to the relationship.

As you have also witnessed yourself, my frustrations and fear on our road trips together have occurred on numerous vacations. On two occasions your mother and grandfather have hired individuals to interfere with our time spent together on our 10 day allocated trips. Instead of enjoying each other's time together, my time was spent concerned with the folks that almost ran us off the road on our last vacation together. You have seen this personally. On one of those occasions I contacted your mother to tell her to have her people back off because they almost caused us to be in a serious accident. At which point it did. Your mom and grandfather have ruined most of our vacations together, and at this point in time I no longer request the 10 days that the court had allocated to me because of the abuse I expect from them.

On one occasion, and from one particular username on social media, I've seen three posts alluding to the fact that they are from your mother. They mention certain buzz words that I would recognize as originating from her, but re-written and mixed with some crazy valley talk, They are likely rewritten by AI (one mentions your grandma's dead dog's name, another mentions the name of your mom's good work friend, and the last mentions a tool your mom and I use to communicate with). In all three particular messages by this one username the clues given tell me that they are from her, or someone writing for her. They claim to "know my secrets", and they are inferring that they will "expose me now". They were shortly deleted after they were posted. I'm not sure what those statements specifically mean, but I'm guessing that maybe it has something to do with the fact that my computers were hacked, and I watched in horror as my phone and computer browser sessions were hijacked right before my eyes. My emails and browsing sessions, that they have likely intercepted, have communications about the continued litigation that your mother creates in family court. These are communications with my attorneys. It is likely that communications with my health care providers were intercepted as well. All of these are private matters of mine, that are protected by the many laws that are continued to be broken.

Your mom continues to still send me passive aggressive and abusive emails, after all these years. Knowing that I often try to defend myself from her verbal attacks, she tries to incite me with her tactically abusive statements, causing me distress and great sadness. Sometimes, I think that she has the assistance of her attorney in creating these responses to me, as they are skillfully crafted. As I have documented in court paperwork, I have statements from witnesses declaring the fact that your grandfather has berated me often in your presence. This is parental alienation and some consider it to be child abuse. I worry when you spend so much time with him as he is likely a bad influence and a detriment to our relationship. This fact is because of statements that you have repeated in my presence and the presence of others. This has occurred on multiple occasions. I ask myself, if I've had to hear these derogatory statements repeated in my presence and the presence of others so many times, especially with his extreme animosity towards me, how many times has this actually occurred in your presence?

I know you have doubted my support for you throughout the last couple of years. I've seen you question my support for your involvement in athletics, and you often repeated your mom's statements about that lack of support, verbatim. I'm sure your mom has attributed my resistance to being a bad parent. I'm almost certain she has packaged this "resistance" that she portrays to your grandparents and attorney in a perfect frame, as to portray me as the bad and uncooperative parent. The absolute truth is that my resistance has been the result of my desire to protect our relationship. From the past history, your mother attacks me on almost every issue. Those attacks often require me to be a very careful parent when dealing with her. The less interaction we have the better things are. My desire for less interaction is a method known as parallel parenting. I had hoped that we could continue parenting together in a parallel parenting method. That method is where you and your mom do whatever she feels is necessary during your time, and we do what I feel is necessary during my time. This limits the interaction that both your mother and I have and helps to create peace. Unfortunately, your mom wants full control over you and this method won't necessarily work when you have parents that cannot work together. Why didn't I go to a judge to request it? The reason is simple. I have not reported the years of ongoing harassment to the court because of my fear that your mom and family would continue to accuse me of her favorite buzz word "delusional". and she would say I'm uncooperative, labeling me as a bad parent, and I would lose you as a Dad. It would take a lot for me to make my case to the judge to use this parenting method for that reason. A lot of my hesitation on reporting this abuse has subsided.

I have also asked your mother to involve a psychologist, to help us make better decisions for you. This conflict resolution is known as co-parenting counseling. Whenever a disagreement occurs between your mom and I, we would have a group discussion with this person to resolve the conflicts and come to some agreement. We've had this in the past and it worked very well. I have asked her many times to involve one, again . My attorney has also formally asked her attorney to involve one, and a judge even suggested it for our case. Once again your mom refuses to respond to any of our suggestions, thus frustrating the parenting relationship between your mom and I. Your mother absolutely refuses to do this. My thoughts are that there are two reasons for this. One is that it requires her to relinquish full control over you and give me a say in our decisions. Two, this now involves a third party in our conversations, which now brings in a witness that can provide testimony, possibly against her. I think of what happened to you recently with your injury and how it could have been avoided if we had one, and if I just had a say in some of your life.

The need to interfere with my life has created so much destruction, as the desire to terrorized me has turned into an absolute obsession. I'm sorry to say that I may no longer be a part of your life because of them. I've already informed you of this possibility. I want you to know that I've done everything I can to be a Dad in your life, but the combination of your mom's manipulation and your grandfather's obsession with me has drained me to a point where I can no longer function normally.

I am now away from the abuse and there is no need or desire for self destruction which tells me a lot about the damage that your mom and grandfather have done to me, and the dynamics of the relationship that you and I share.

I am so sorry, my dearest love. I love you with all my heart and soul.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

This is part III of a continuation of posts related to false accusations and my unfair arrest, coordinated by your mother, along with your grandfather and their attorney.

After spending the night in jail, the next morning I was released from the Santa Ana Detention Center. Your uncle R, posted bail for me in the amount of $10,000 USD. That means if I try to skip town and not show up for my court date hearing, your uncle has to pay $10,000 out of his pocket. That allowed me to get out of jail without having to stay in prison for a longer period of time. The cost of that privilege was $1,000 which came out of my pocket and I never saw it again. Let’s not trivialize the cost of this with just that amount. This little stunt of your mom’s cost me $30,000 which is now a very small fraction of how much was spent as a result of her and false accusations and her ferocity and enjoyment for litigation. That could have been money put to good use. It is now gone forever, into the hands of some greedy attorney's that your mom hired.

The problem I faced when I got out of jail that morning was that I had no wallet or keys or phone. For some reason all my possessions that I took with me to jail, were still at the Irvine police department and I was now getting out of the Santa Ana detention center (jail). 

Heartbreakingly, because of that I had to call your grandmother in New York on a payphone, and reverse the phone call charges in order to have her reach out to your uncle to help me, because I did not memorize his phone number. This is a lesson learned to have the people close and dearest to you on speed dial in your brain. Do you believe they still had pay phones then?

Your grandmother asked what was wrong, and I had to explain to her that your mother had me arrested. I then asked your Grandma to contact your uncle here in California. She was crying so much. Then your aunt got on the phone and she was crying as well. I couldn't contain myself either. I started to break down in tears. I never wanted to upset your grandmother or your aunt, but your mother left me no choice. I needed there help to get me out of this situation. I was also exhausted from that very long night. I kept asking myself why your mom would do such a thing, but I had no immediate answers for that. This is when your grandmother and your aunt realized the truth about your mother. I loved your grandma and I love your aunt so much. They are two of the most wonderful people on this planet and I am not saying that because they are family. They are both truly kind hearted people. [At the time I write this, your Aunt’s time in this world is very limited. I want to support her but the harassment has become unbearable. I explained to her the reason I had to leave and she understood].

I never had to explain myself to them, because they already knew that I would never be capable of such a horrible act. Their sadness soon turned into anger towards your mom. Your grandmother questioned her actions, and then she asked what was wrong with your mom. She kept repeating how good our family was to your her, and this is how she repays us.

Your mom's timing of her bad behavior was impeccable. It was like she knew every action that was occurring with me through this hardship I was facing and wanted to punish me further and inflict even more pain that me and my family were experiencing. When I did pick up my possessions from the Irvine Police Department, I received a text message from your mom soon after, with the picture of you and me in Irvine riding a merry go round together.  This was an obvious attempt to taunt me. I asked myself who was this person that I let into my life. I no longer knew who she was as she was now taunting me [picture will soon be posted]. This is when I started to have a fear of your mother.

Based on the criminal code I was no longer able to live in my home. The code takes you away from me as well, so I no longer had access to you, or any of my possessions at the home. I was not allowed to go back to my own home and I had to sleep at your Uncles house for a couple of days. The day after the arrest your Uncle R went to what was once my home to ask your mother for my laptop and other items so I could do my work. I was worried about losing my job because I couldn’t work if I didn’t have it. Since she was not home your uncle had to climb to the second floor of the home to retrieve it. What he did was very dangerous and I am very grateful for his help. He entered my home office to retrieve it and he got some of my clothes and other accessories to help me live with them until I figured things out. Since your Uncle is a former police officer he contacted the Irvine police department a head of time for and escort while all this took place. They gave him the permission to enter the home that way. After your Uncle retrieved my items, he spoke to one police officer that wasn’t even there the night of the arrest. Your Uncle R walked over to me and said, “do you believe the nerve of this rookie clown?”. While I waited anxiously for a response, he shook his head back and forth and said “He just told me, that your brother needs to do the right thing. I asked him if he was there the night of the alleged crime and he said, “no”, I asked him how the hell does he know if she is not lying. He said the officer stuttered incoherently and embarrassed.” Your Uncle went on to say that these guys should all be wearing diapers.”. I believe he was referring to the fact that they were all rookie inexperienced cops. Then surprisingly your brother said “What’s wrong with this street, it’s like Grand Central Station during rush hour.”. Our home sat on a culdesac and one reason we purchased the home was because it had little traffic and was very quiet. I immediately knew what your brother was talking about because I noticed the excess traffic myself. Multiple cars and what sometimes looked like the same person driving a different car coming down the culdesac only to turn right around because their was no where else to go.

His statement instantly brought back flashbacks of the recent incidences that occurred with recent dealings that I had with your mother prior to this incidence of false accusations. Prior to this incidence, when your mom moved you to her parents and commuted to Irvine for her job, I remembered how your mom repeated private conversations that I’ve had on the phone with my attorney and friends about different issues. Then I recalled how my cell phone battery life was not functioning up to par and my cell phone always seemed to be overheated. When I removed the SD card from the phone, I started to get strange codes being texted from your mother randomly. Many scary ideas came to my mind about the person that I married. Was I now being stalked by her? Why did she now have the need to know everything about me and my life? I thought about the fact that sometime shortly after her repeating my conversations, she felt the need to drive 60 miles from her parent’s home to retrieve a store purchased container of milk from our home refrigerator. She was frantic about getting this milk and she became aggressive in her desire to come to the home to get this. It was then that I thought she was likely trying to retrieve something that assisted her in her monitoring of my conversations. It was my intuition that was telling me something wasn’t right with her behavior. At that time, I questioned if it was really over between us. Did she decide to give up that quickly, only after a few months of our relationship going downhill? My thoughts focused back on my conversation with your brother. I told him I noticed the amount of vehicles too. I went on to tell him that this is not typical for this street.

My brother and I left what was once my home and I ended up staying at your brother’s home for a few days while things get sorted out. I am very grateful for his help and continued support throughout all of this unnecessary mess.

A few days later I went to visit my attorney for our divorce. He told me that what your mom did was like releasing an atomic bomb on our situation. It does exactly what she wanted it to do. Remove me from your life, from our home, and make it as difficult as possible to be your dad. The district attorney is the person that prosecutes these types of crimes in criminal court. What your mom didn't expect was for the district attorney to immediately drop the charges and there was no criminal hearing. The reason for this is because I had already called the police on your mother a few weeks earlier because of her erratic behavior and I explained to them during that call to the police that I was in fear for not only my safety, but also for my freedom. This was absolutely true. Your mom made things very difficult for me. She was already spreading rumors about me, that I was an alcoholic and that I was abusive to her. Those fears that I had as a child of falsely being accused surfaced and my proactivity served me very well in this situation.  The district attorney already knew what your mom was up to and didn't want to touch this case at all. He had already listened to the phone calls I made to the police pleading with them to help protect me against her at decided to dismiss the case. All criminal charges were immediately dropped, but not without the pain to me and my family. 

Unfortunately, the false accusations and the abuses that I received from your mother and your grandfather escalated with intensity shortl thereafter. I was still not finished with this ordeal of this false accusations of domestic abuse. I was finished proving my innocence to the criminal court system, but I now had to face the family court system with these same accusations. This is where I mentioned before, in a previous post, that the Violence Against Women Act was unconstitutional. To be tried twice for the same crime is what is called double jeopardy. The interesting things is that now you are tried by one person, the judge, and not a jury of your peers as it would have been in criminal or civil court. The family court system has the power to charge me as guilty and issue a restraining order against me. If a restraining order is issued by the judge, it would force me to stay away your mom and you for many years. That means that I couldn’t see you for a very long time. Double jeopardy should prevent this unconstitutional act of being tried twice for the same crime. Fortunately, I was not charged for this despicable accusation in family court either.

This Violence Against Women Act was meant to protect women from real abuse and your mom used that law illegally to take you away from me. Despite me being cleared of these charges in two courts, years later I petitioned the criminal court to seal and destroy my arrest record. A judge in this case agreed that no abuse from me ever occurred, and ordered that any record of my arrest should be sealed and destroyed. Despite this, your mother was never punished for these heinous accusations. In fact, she never showed any fear of me the entire 6 months that we waited for our family court hearing to address these accusations. During the 6 months she tried to entice me to communicate with her over 50 times. She knew that if I were to respond even once to her communications, I would be arrested for doing so and the restraining order might stay in place permanently. I watched as she would antagonize me day after day taunting me to respond to her. I did not responde to her because I love you too much, and I wanted you to be an important part of my life.

They say hindsight is 20/20. There is so much truth in that statement; but often we are gifted with a sense of intuition which helps us navigate life. I’ll never know if that intuition saved my life in the past but what I do know is that when I felt situations were just not right, I would use that intuition to stay clear of the possible danger. What I realized over those months that your mom was giving me so much trouble was that she was slowly trying to set me up. My intuition screamed to me about this, but I was helpless to do anything about it. I called the police to help me, I called my attorney to help me and neither would help assist me in anyway. And hey, besides, I’m a man, I should be able to protect myself and handle abuse from a women. What I found is that no one wanted to help me or let alone care about what was happening to me. Unfortunately that is one of the unfair aspects of life. You’ll learn that most people just don’t care enough. The laws are meant to protect women and what I learned is that men can be abused just as much as women can. You’re mom accused me of all the things that she was actually doing to me and she still does it today after all this time. She was abusive and I was helpless, in a world that doesn’t really care about protecting men from abusive women. I finally realized that I was being abused.

What I figured out after the arrest is that your mom basically set me up. She threw me under the bus, stabbed me in the back, fed me to the wolves and other terminologies that amount to absolute deception on her part. It’s likely that she conspired with her attorney and possibly your grandfather to create an uncomfortable situation. That uncomfortable situation was to refuse me access to care for you by myself, and to be the parent I wanted to be. Prior to the arrest, every single moment she spent in our home in Irvine she would instigate a situation that would create doubt in people’s mind about my attempts at being a good husband, a good father, and a decent person. I no longer knew who this person was, until one day she found the perfect opportunity to call the police on me, thus dropping that atomic bomb on our situation making things turn from bad to worse. What she did was illegal and immoral. If her attorney suggested it to her then her attorney should be disbarred. This is corruption at its finest. The laws for domestic violence were meant to protect women. Since it’s inception and during your lifetime, it has managed to morph into a way of protecting both men and women, but it’s original intention was to protect women that had a fear of their safety. Your mother abused this law by doing what she did, and she showed not one shred of fear as she contacted me by email and phone over 50 times before we finally made it to court to determine that I did not commit this crime she accused me of. I knew that if I was to respond to her attempts to contact me, I would instantly be thrown in jail. The person claiming to be harassed was actually the harasser.

Let me also go into detail as to what your grandfather did. Your grandfather was in the courtroom heckling me. He was making absurd faces at me through most of my testimony at the hearing. Your Uncle R was there and could not believe what he was doing. Uncle R looked at him and saw the judge give him a disapproving face at which point he stopped. His purpose was to instigate me. This is something he has been doing since the beginning of this debacle that he and your mom created from the start. My thoughts went back to my Dad and if he would ever do such a think and without any question in my mind I know he would not. I recall the day I asked him for your mom’s hand in marriage. He was very excited and happy. While seeing him do this I said to myself, “Who is this person and what kind of family did I marry into?” I realized I made a big mistake in marrying your mom and you are the only good that came about it and I have done nothing but suffer under their hands to maintain my relationship with you. Your mom gave testimony as well and her story had changed so many times throughout this whole ordeal. You’ll learn that when people tell stories that seem to change often, it’s likely that they cannot get the fictitious facts each time they have to explain it. There is a good saying for this, “Oh What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.” - SIr Walter Scott

As a result of their lies and the pain that they put me through, I was angry and rightfully so. I was angry at her bad behavior, angry at the injustice. It was at this point that I realized there was never going back. We reached the point of no return and would never be a family once again. Your mother had taken a hatchet to our family and butchered it beyond recognition, just as she was so excellent at hacking to pieces those people that survived on their jobs. You mom severed what was left of possibly of our family being saved. My family, your uncle, aunt, grandmother, finally realized that the problem was not with me, but it was with your mother. My family knew I was never capable of doing what she claims I did. Her lies to my family were no longer relevant. She had lost any and all support from my family. There are many other dynamics that I believe are going on with your mom that I will not go into detail about, but in future writings I will provide you information on how you can avoid situations like the one I put myself in with this person I really never knew.

It didn’t stop there. What ensued over a 10 year period was and ongoing assault on me from your mom and grandfather that hasn’t ceased to this date. The vile statements she would make to me in emails, the lies she would tell the court all supported by her attorney. Your grandfather’s personal attacks on me when I was in court or when I would see him at your school plays or other school functions. Both your mom’s and your grandfather’s behavior was absolutely disgusting. I will go into each of them in detail and with evidence.

I love you so much and I hope you don’t look down on me for telling you the truth. The truth is what it is and I promised I would never lie to you. This is the truth going forward.

Love, Your Dad

[work in progress, incomplete and pending]

Dear Daughter,

While I was kept in the Irvine detention cell, I was given the ability to call my family. The female officer was very nice and asked me who I wanted to call. She had my cell phone and asked me if I had anyone in mind. I was very courteous and respectful because I know I could make my situation worse by being disrespectful, and the people overseeing my detainment could make things worse for me. If there is one thing I've learned is to be r respectful to law enforcement., whether you agree or disagree with their decisions. Respect can sometimes go a long way. For the most part, these people are only performing their jobs. It's also important to note that many of our family members were law enforcement and military.  I was able to call my cousin and your uncle. They both didn't answer right away but they both called me back in a quick amount of time. I explained to my cousin the situation and she was very upsent with your mom. I have to say that at that point I gained solidarity with my family. They realized the bullshit that your mom was producing. 

At around 4am or 5am I was rounded up in a chain gang. If you don't know what a chain gain is, it's a group of inmates that are locked up together by their legs, so it would be very difficult for them to run away. It made it very hard to walk because you had to be concerned with the step of the person behind and in front of you. From the Irvine detention center , I was transported in a vehicle where I was locked vertically in a chair. The best I can explain it is if you ride the Rotor ride at an amusement park, but you are chained up to the arm rail and your feet still touch the ground for the entire ride. There was no fun in that. We arrived at the Santa Ana detention center where I was first brought to a very thick unbreakable window to explain to the people behind it if I had any medical conditions.  From there two corrections officers frisked me, pushed me around and asked me if I thought I was some kind of tough guy beating up a woman. I thought about all the movies I saw in the past for the right response. I looked at the officer and I told him I was innocent just like everyone else in this place. He looked at me crookedly and told me to move into the next room which I willfully did. 

During the next few hours I met a number of characters, for which I would say are all God's children and for some reason, I was able to get along with all of them. I didn't have one problem in detainment. The way I looked at it, is if you show respect to people, then respect you will get. I met one gentlemen that was in a jumpsuit and was with two other friends. He had to switch out his clothes into the jumpsuit because he had blood all over his clothes from stabbing someone. He told me he did that because this man was assaulting his girlfriend, which I'm sure was questionable. I had no fear of him, and in fact we got along very well, him and his friends and had a couple of laughs together. They asked me questions on how to get the best bail in their situation. I gave them phone numbers of bail bondsmen to call. They were somewhat grateful and gave me their number in the event I wanted to hang out or wanted drugs or if I needed some help dealing with your grandfather. I took the number knowing I would respectfully decline those suggestions. I had enough of my own problems at that time, which were created fictitiously by your mother. She really put me in some hot water with her false accusations.

Dear Daughter,

My dearest love, I cherish your existence and I only want the very best for you. The one thing I have learned about myself in this long life that I have lived, is that my intuition has proven to be one of the best attributes that I have. I see hints of this ability in you, which I would be proud to boast is something you've inherited from me. I want you to make the most of your intuition and I suggest to you that you use facts to compliment your gut instincts. I'm not talking about the ability to tell the future. What I am referring to, is the ability to decipher the world from a combination of your instincts and cold hard facts and experiences. I have a feeling that if you might get the formula right, and more precise than I ever will, it will help you to navigate the world while sharpening your skills to help attain the happiness and love that everyone wants out of this short life we are given.

It's been a few months since I last wrote to you. A lot has transpired since that last letter , and it has not been good. If it is one thing that I have gained in the last few months, it is clarity and peace and unity with my family, none of which has been attained without much pain on my part. Everything has now fallen into place, and what I suspected to be the case from your mom has been proven to be true.

If you recall in my last letter, I mentioned to you that I believed that your mother had become erratic and unpredictable in her behavior since I filed for divorce. In addition, I mentioned that I believed that she might be up to "no good". Well, it appears that my intuitions were correct.

When I was a child, I had nightmare's of having being accused of a crime and put in prison for a something bad that I never committed, and on top of that, trying to prove my innocence in a world that looks at what's directly in front of them and not the bigger picture. I've seen movies about this and I thought that, it would be the worst thing to happen to an individual. Worse than death. I thought about movies like Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile, and the Fugitive and how those people were wrongly accused and had to suffer the agony of having to prove their innocence after great suffering. Having the benefit of living in a country where freedom and due process are priorities, it allowed me to sleep in peace and feel shielded from the possibility of the thought that this type of unfairness would occur in my lifetime. I was proven very wrong.

It is unfortunate that I have to inform you with great sadness that your mother had me arrested for domestic violence. She had me taken away in the middle of the night from our Irvine home by police for something that she claimed I did, which I claimed was untrue. The perfect term for this is, the "he said, she said" syndrome and the police reinforced that statement at the time. It's when there are no witnesses to prove that anything I said is true or anything she said is true. Your mom called the police and told them that I got on top of her on our bed and wedged her wrists under my knees and she said I told her "you're not taking my fucking child away from me". I found that interesting because the only time I recall something similar to that statement was when I was in front of your grandfather's mansion. You see, after our separation, I wasn't allowed to park within his compound anymore because I was now branded a stranger. Your mom came out of the gated fence and told me with great emphasis that "I will fucking make sure that you never see your daughter ever again!". I didn't think much of that at the time, because I thought, hey we live in a fair and just country, and that would never be the case. I realized very soon after, how naïve I was and that our freedoms need to be protected at ever cost, even with the cost of lives.

The day that your mother had me arrested was the day that my view of this country and it's freedoms were shattered into pieces. It made me question every article of freedom that was written in this country to protect every individual . It's interesting and I prefer not to make a big deal of it, but the arresting office was of Asian descent, just like your mother. It seems that at some point in time they felt the need to switch to a Caucasian officer as the detaining officer. Kind of like the fact that they hand off a female to a female officer. I found that very interesting and very patronizing and offensive.

What I found very interesting is that for some reason your aunt J and Uncle P seemed to have gotten to the "crime scene" just in time for my perp walk outside of our front house (did someone say "witnesses"?). It was if it was cautiously planned. The perp walk consisted of me being escorted out of my home at 2am with my 12 gauge shotgun being held by an Irvine officer following directly behind me. As I was being forcefully escorted out of my home, I watched the window from the home across the street, which was coincidentally owned by Jerry, one of your grandfather's college graduate friends. They were peeking out of their curtains while I was being hauled to jail. Would anyone say "how about more witnesses"? I looked at your Uncle P and I saw his face of disbelief. It wasn't the face of someone accusatory of what I could have possibly perpetrated, but the look of someone with great sorrow, knowing that this was not the end of what I would be subjected to.

So I started off at the Irvine jailhouse, where I waited in a cell for hours, which seemed like an eternity. The cell was clean and I was alone in it. It had a camera way up high in the left corner, intentionally unreachable by inmates that might inhabit that cell which surely included myself. Getting frustrated waiting, I yelled out in the jail to get an officer to come to my cell. Officer Kim came to my cell and asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a blood or urine test. I told him that your mom was full of accusations and I expect intoxication or drug abuse to be one of those accusations. Officer Kim looked at me confused and he told me that she was not accusing me of either being drug induced or intoxicated. He then started to reiterate questions that I previously answered. He asked if I grabbed your mom. I reinforced the fact that I didn't and that I would never would. He asked me if perhaps mistakenly I may have touched her in an altercation. I expressed that I in no way mistakenly touched your mom. In fact, I informed him that if anyone touched me, it was your mother that intentionally touched me, which may have been to create the illusion of conflict in order to have me arrested.

To be continued...

Dear Daughter,

I love you unconditionally, my little angel. As you grow, you'll blossom into a beautiful girl and later, a wonderful woman. Your intelligence and achievements, like walking and speaking, fill me with pride. However, your mom and I are facing significant challenges. It's with deep sadness that I must tell you things have worsened considerably. I've had to file for divorce because your mother wasn't working on our marriage. I hoped this action might motivate her to contribute to our relationship, aiming to rebuild our family. But her indifference frustrates me.

A few weeks ago, your grandfather visited, hoping to mend our relationship. He soon realized our issues weren't as simple as fixing a broken door. Before his visit, your mom and I had an argument, and she rushed to tell him I was abusive, escalating the situation. I asked your grandfather to leave, feeling overwhelmed by frustration towards him and your mom and her accusations. They seem alike, and I'm upset with your mother for falsely accusing me of things to my family. I've always been respectful, but I also stand up for what I believe in when I see things that are wrong. Her accusations are frustrating and unnecessary. After he left, I found myself clearing out old clothes from my closet, something I've only done once before under similar stress. When your mom saw this, she cried like never before. I comforted her, but my patience had waned, marking a turning point in our relationship.

Since filing for divorce, your mom has changed, exhibiting the abusive behavior she accused me of. She's moved to your grandparents' and limited my time with you. Concerned about her unpredictability, I sought advice from the Irvine Police and my attorney, but received little help. Speaking to both women, I felt that my voice and pleads with them went unheard. Her behavior makes me suspect she's planning something malicious. Despite my extensive childcare training, she undermines my ability to care for you, like when she abruptly stopped me from bathing you. She pulled you out of my arms to tell me that the water was too hot, despite me checking and double checking it with a thermometer. When my brother and his family visited, she scared your cousins with her aggressive behavior, so much that they hid behind your uncle to protect them. I've had to let many things slide without questioning her behavior, but my patience is growing very thin for her antics.

Furthermore, your mom seems to know details of my private phone conversations with my attorney, friends, and family. She's accurate about what I've discussed, raising questions about how she's obtaining this information and breaching my right to privacy.

I'm hoping we can curtail what feels like a runaway train, but I don't have much confidence in that, and, it seems like it would take a miracle to fix our situation.

I love you so much, my little angel. You are so beautiful.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

I love you unconditionally. It's been a while since I last wrote a letter to you. You are so beautiful and so small, truly a gift sent from heaven. I love you more than anything.

I love your mom but things have not been going well between us. I don't know who she is anymore; she seems like a different person to me. As a result, we have been struggling to get along, and I am exhausted from the frustrations of trying to understand the direction of our marriage. I admit that I may have been harsh in my emails and text messages, sometimes getting angry over her apparent indifference. This anger likely stems from my frustration with her lack of effort to work on our marriage and acknowledge the efforts I have made to keep our relationship together. Whenever I try to discuss anything with her, she shuts down and refuses to talk. Sometimes, she even accuses me of being verbally abusive. I know what verbal abuse is, and I am confident that my frustrations do not fall into that category. However, these accusations only add to my frustration. Moreover, your mom is spreading rumors to my family that I am abusive and an alcoholic, and they are beginning to believe her. I've seen what abusive people and alcoholics are like, and I know I am neither. This situation is new to me, and I am unsure how to handle it. I try to apologize to your mom and tell her that I love her but she isn't really receptive of it.

Understanding what your mother desires has been a challenging task for me. Despite her continuous harsh criticisms of me to my family and direct insults, she accuses me of being verbally abusive. She persistently labels me as a bad father and husband, dismissing my efforts as inadequate. At the same moment, she claims that I don't support her enough in caring for you, yet she often refuses my attempts to help with you. I love her but I just cannot understand.

I acknowledge that initially, I was apprehensive about caring for you and it took me some time to adapt to this new responsibility. However, my intention has always been to support your mother and to provide her some help from the constant demands of childcare, because I love her. I really want to help and be a part of your upbringing. I do hope she changes her mind about giving me more responsibility.

I vividly remember the day you resisted your afternoon nap – napping is never your thing. On that day, as I held you in my arms, I created some music on my keyboard, while cradling you gently. I recorded the melody and played it back to you, and to my amazement, you fell asleep. This wasn't just a one-time miracle; it happened several times. However, instead of sharing my astonishment and joy, your mother seemed envious of this bond and success.

We attempted to see a marriage counselor, but your mom accused him of being sexist, so I had to find another counselor. During the many sessions with the second counselor, your mom just sat there, often accusing me of wrongdoing, without admitting any faults of her own. Sometimes, she would sit silently while I poured my heart out for the entire session. The counselor acknowledged that I've made significant efforts to work on our marriage, but she has not said the same about your mom. In our last session with this counselor, I expressed my frustration that your mom never contributes to the discussions. When the counselor confronted her, she began to list numerous complaints about me, calling me a bad father, a bad husband, and a drunk. She said I was useless and that she hated me. Despite this, after the session, your mom still wanted me to go out for sushi with her. I initially declined, preferring to go home, but she pleaded and begged, so I agreed, thinking she might have had second thoughts. However, at the restaurant, she showed total disinterest in any conversation, making me wonder why we had even gone there. The place wasn't very crowded. I noticed a couple entering the restaurant as we were leaving; your mom gave them a strange look, and then they looked at me nervously. It was an extremely awkward situation that I can't fully explain

My reflections on those counseling sessions are that I truly poured my heart into them. I took the blame for things that, in hindsight, I probably shouldn't have. I even admitted to things that weren't entirely true, just to appease your mother. At the time, I thought that's what men should sometimes do: take the blame to make peace. However, I now believe that adopting that mentality was a mistake.

It would break my heart to see this marriage fall apart, especially at your age, depriving you of the chance to fully experience what a family is all about. Such an outcome would cause me great emotional pain and distress. I'm unsure how much longer I can endure what is happening. I love your mom but the unfortunate truth is that our marriage may be nearing its end.

Love,
Your Dad

My beautiful daughter.  I love you so much.  My journey to be a part of your life hasn't been easy. It's been filled with challenges, but it's also been so rewarding. If you're reading this, it might mean that something unexpected has happened. Please, understand that, regardless of what has transpired, my feelings for you remain strong. I have absolute unconditional love for you. Remember, no matter where I am or what situation I find myself in, my care for you is unwavering. I hope to be a source of guidance for you, a steady presence in your life to help you through difficult times. I want you to lead a healthy and fulfilling life, knowing that I will always care about you. I want you to go through life knowing that you can always count on me and that you can always be by my side whenever you feel the desire to do so.

What has transpired over the last 10 years is an unhealthy obsession by certain people. It is an obsession that has plagued me and has hurt me very much over this long duration. Two individuals have brought me to painful lows of sadness and angst that I've never experienced in my life. In my lifetime, I never thought that I would be brought to this point. Over this course of over 10 years, I've often prayed to God to give me guidance, asking what I have done to deserve this abuse that I continue to suffer. I've always gone out of my way to be good to people. I am loyal to the people that I care about. I am always kind and honest to those around me. I have gone out of my way to help people in need. I have never intentionally gone out of my way to hurt any individual like these people have.

I encourage you to focus on certain aspects of your life because I believe they are instrumental in shaping you into a compassionate and virtuous individual. My emphasis on your involvement in youth ministry, my reminders for you to treat others with kindness and care, and my urging for you to share willingly, are all part of my efforts to guide you towards becoming the best version of yourself and to avoid the pitfalls.

The individuals inflicting this pain on me have been unrelenting in invading every aspect of my life. They have interfered in my relationship with you, trying to sabotage it at all costs. Portraying me an incompetent and incapable of caring for you. They have labeled me as abusive and sometimes as an outright monster. They have interfered with my personal life, my privacy, my family, the relationships I've had with others. They have tried to steal my money through deception and untruth using legal means as their methods, along with trickery. I know you are so smart. I can see that you will be much smarter than I will ever be. I am aware that you have already realized that I am referring to your mom and your grandfather here.

I understand that you had to suffer under the side effects of this abuse along with me and it has undoubtedly had an effect on my ability to parent you. They have worn me down and brought me to lows that I've never been in my life in the hopes that I would falter. They have intentionally taken me my support system away, while uprooting my life and made me a true single parent and alone in every sense of that term. They have also taken much of my life savings to prevent me from living a quality life that we both deserve to live in. If you are reading this, it is likely that they brought me to a point where they have left me no choice but to take some action to alleviate the abuse that they have perpetrated on us all these years. It is only until recently that I have been able to pull myself out of the pain to see how badly their bad behavior has affected my life. I'm so sorry if my choice affects you but know that I have exhausted all methods to correct this, and they have failed in ceasing the actions they have perpetrated to destroy me. At this point my decisions, although difficult are here to help protect you from the continued suffering that we both have undergone under their hands.

In the beginning, of this unnecessary debacle, I honestly thought that perhaps they were temporarily misguided in their beliefs, and I thought that if I could prove my ability to parent you, to your mom, and to your grandfather, that they would understand how good of a parent I am to you and cease their abuses. I found that this was a misguided belief. What I discovered is that there are more dynamics at play here, that have nothing to do with my abilities as a parent, but with the raw human emotion of anger and greed. My belief in the goodness in people went so far as to believe that if I sold my home in Irvine and moved up to Pasadena to be closer to your school, everything would just fall into place and peace between us would ensue. What I found out was quite the opposite. The attack on me and the abuses that came with that, profoundly increased. I found myself being attacked on multiple fronts with your mom hiring one of the most complicated law firms to wreak havoc on us by twisting and churning the law with our family law case and on my life. I found myself being harassed on the legal front. The incidences of other third-party harassment increased instead of subsiding. Our time together was sometimes riddled with harassment, our time together was often laden with hints that prying eyes and encroached communications. My time alone was contaminated with various methods of harassment of the senses. I was often concurrently harassed by your mom in her emails and text messages to me, to the point where I had to permanently block her from all but one method of communication. I didn't deserve this. You didn't deserve this, but they dished it out willing and eagerly. I couldn't approach these issues in court because it was obvious to me that the law firm that your mom hired had some form of favoritism with the two judges overseeing our case. The only time I felt at ease was when I was out of state. Despite the third-party harassment subsiding when I was outside of California, the legal harassment continued despite my location.

If they do try and discredit me, I want you to use your uncanny ability to see the truth, I want you to look directly into your mom's face or your grandfathers face and ask them direct questions about it. I'm confident that you will quickly get your answer.

You will read many things that I have witnessed during this difficult journey. You've probably seen some of these issues firsthand. I am going to do my best not to mix the anger that I have for their actions with the truth or create a distortion of it. I may summarize what my opinion of a matter would be, and I will inform you of that in my future postings. Your mom and grandfather are going to try and distort the truth or make you believe that somehow my interpretation of what they did to me is not true. It is likely that they will try and use the words paranoid, or delusional to discredit me. You may think daddy is different and sometimes weird. If so, I have nothing but pride in showing you that you can live some parts of your life to the beat of a different drum. I assure you that I am of sound mind and mentally healthy and I think you are well aware of that already.

I won't go into too much detail on why your mom, and I failed in our marriage. The details are not important. What I will say is that we just couldn't get along anymore. It's my belief that your mom had a misguided belief on what marriage was about from the start. In turn, I felt that she didn't want to put in any effort into it anymore. I was disheartened by her inability to keep her marital promises and her inability to make sacrifices for the marriage. I tried everything in my power to keep the marriage alive and I felt that she did barely anything to do so. Even if we were able to reconcile just before the divorce, I am almost certain that we wouldn't have lasted the long haul. We were just too incompatible. I believe there are other dynamics going on with your mom that I may not go into, in detail. Your grandfather made certain to put the final nail in the coffin of our marriage, and I'm not sure whether to criticize him or thank him for doing so. However, what he has done to me, I will never thank him for anything ever in my life. He has been a burden on our relationship during the marriage and on me and you for over a decade.

Going forward my letters will summarize your mom and grandfathers' actions. They may be graphic in nature. I will do my best to keep my emotions out of it and provide to you the facts, which will be a challenge at best.

I love you so much and would do anything for you, but I don't like what I have become as a result of their actions. I hope you understand my love and know that I love you more than anything.

Dear Daughter,

Happy Birthday Bambina!

Oh! We've had so many busy weeks recently. The weeks before you came into this world were very busy for us preparing for your arrival, and the weeks after you arrived have been so much happy work too. You're such a joyful edition to our small family. You make me so happy that you are here. Your mom came to me and told me that it's time! I got all flustered and got the car and her bag ready for the hospital and we drove at a safe but frantic pace.

I recall the very moment of your birth. Your mom was a real trooper and decided to go natural birth with no anesthesia for the pain. Well, that didn't last very long and the doctor administered a local epidural right away, just after she changed her mind about that. 🤣 I have to give her a lot of credit for considering it though.

I guess the shock of you coming into this world didn't hit me until the very moment you arrived. If I was to explain how I felt, it would be like this. Imagine that you are jumping into a really cold ocean, or lake, or even a cold shower. Think of how your breath gets taken away for an instant moment. Try and imagine that feeling while adding the butterflies from the thrill of a roller coaster going down a steep drop, all with an extreme feeling of happiness. That would be how I would explain the joyous moment of your arrival from my perspective. Let's not tell anyone, but a tear or two may have come down my cheeks. You know your dad is a softie sometimes.

I remember exactly what the nurse said the moment you were born. After calling the time on her watch, she said "Welcome to the world, sister.". I liked that. The doctor looked at your umbilical cord and stated that it was such a healthy cord. I give that credit to your mom. She really did eat very healthy and took her vitamins as well. I made sure she ate a lot of red meats.

There was one minor thing that occurred that might be considered irregular. I guess you had a case of neonatal jaundice. The doctor said this happens sometimes to Asian infants. In your case, half Asian infants. They had to put you in an incubator/tanning bed for a couple of days. They even gave you those funny glasses to wear. You were just chillin in your little glass cubical wondering what's going on, while soaking up all those good rays.

They were really nice at the hospital. Since they had a few free beds there, they invited us to stay longer, and off the record. Otherwise the insurance company would have told us to go home already. I slept on a cot and your mom slept on a hospital bed which was perfectly fine with me. She had been through a lot, and she was a real trooper that deserved it. We even got some free hospital meals. Oh joy! 😆 I guess the situation we were in would make any meal taste really delicious. Both your mom and I had off from work. My job gave me a few extra days under the table, so that was nice of them. We had plenty of time to decompress from all the excitement, and there were so many visitors from my family, and your mom's family.

When we brought you home, your bed was ready, but your mom wanted you to sleep in our bed so she could hold you and nurse you. Believe it or not, I slept on the floor because I was told it's not a good idea to sleep together, because I could roll on you in my sleep, and we wouldn't want that. I didn't mind at all. I wanted to give your mom everything she needed. To be honest, I was still a little nervous about holding you since it was all new to me.

I was right about you bringing us happiness. Our arguments seemed to have disappeared now that you are here.

I love you and your mom so much.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

It's been twice the amount of time that your mom promised it would take to perform renovations to the new home. The workers that you grandfather hired to perform the renovations quit, because your mom was being difficult to them. In all honesty, I don't blame them. She didn't treat them very well while they were doing their job. I hope she doesn't treat people at her job this way. I'm absolutely exhausted. Grandpa was right. The renovations are killing us. The house is an absolute dust bowl and we're constantly running here or there to get things done. I find my self easily losing patience with your mom because she refuses to listen to anything I have to say or suggest. I'm starting to feel like a prop in the movie that is her life and I'm just here to play a small part in it. We seem to be arguing a lot lately.

The good news is that you are on the way. I am so excited about it, but I'm also very nervous because of the difficult state of things right now. Your mom and I have been taking all the courses available to us to prepare for your arrival. I've been going to all her checkup appointments to give her all the support I can offer, because I love her. I'm hoping that you bring in so much love, that me and your mom can move past the problems that we've faced for the last two years.

Well, I no longer have anytime for me or anyone else for that matter. I've accepted that. Gosh I miss my family, my brother, my sister, my mom. It feels like I haven't seen them in a really long time. We certainly see your mom's family a lot which is good, but your mom seems more and more resistant to be a part of my family. It's important to me that she does. I've been reminding her, but I don't think she really cares right now. Perhaps it's the renovations. I'm hoping, once they are over we can get back to normal.

Oh did I mention that we had two little tiny Chinchillas? We've had them for a while. They are fluffy little guys. They run around the house and they like taking dust baths to clean themselves. Your mom searched high and low for these critters. I really love them and so does your mom. They relieve some of the stress we have. I'm so excited that you're on the way. We're preparing a nice big room just for you. We've purchased a crib and toys for you. You're going to be so happy.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

Your mom already found a new home for us to live in. That was quick. The folks selling the property are in distress and it's obvious that they are unable to upkeep the home due to their age. They seem to be nice people. The owner was a pilot and has a picture of himself taken with Mohammad Reza Pahlavi, or the former Shah of Iran. That's one for your history lesson to look up.

The home is not in South Orange County like your mother promised. She made it clear we would not be buying there, after promising me that is where she would look. She used some pretty scary explicative when she told me that, if you can believe it. That's a real reversal from her initial promise. I'm still concerned about buying anything in this housing market.

We put the apartment up for rent since the housing market crash has lowered the value of the property dramatically, making it difficult to sell. When we went to get the loan for this new house, she told the agent that we had no plans on living in the old apartment, and that it was just a stepping stone to somewhere else. I was amazed to hear that. I remember clearly stating to your mom that this is the place where I would die. Daddy has been feeling like a nomad, moving so often and he and just wants a place to settle once and for all. Moving and renovations are hard and stressful. The lawsuit against the folks that assaulted us at the old apartment is underway.

I'm getting a bit upset with her lately because of her inability to keep her promises, and I find that I'm needing more space away from her at times. Of course she fights me on that. I am a social person and I need to be with family and friends more often. I need to blow off some steam on occasion with them. Your mom doesn't like that and tends to badmouth my friends and family. It seems like your mom only wants to go to functions with her own family, but when my family asks, she typically says no. I hear a lot of negative statements about them from her, and I see a rift between me and my family members starting to widen. Maybe she will ease up on them. eventually.

She promises that renovations will only take 3 months. Your grandpa suggested that perhaps we should slow down on the renovations, as they tend to test the strength of a relationship. I agree with him. Your mom won't hear any it. She just wants to go full steam ahead. At least there is a pool and a jacuzzi in the back yard where daddy can relax. Remember what daddy said about compromising. It's important in a relationship. I love your mom, and if this is what she wants, then I will support her. Of course I get upset when she breaks her promises with me, but that is what compromises are for.

She even mentioned that she wants to have a baby. Wow! Well, this is where you come in soon, and I'm so happy that you will. This will be the home that we first bring you to. How exciting but scary too! Bringing a baby into the mess we have right now without giving ourselves some break to heal our wounds is something we have to both discuss and agree upon.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

Your mother and I had so many problems with the neighbors downstairs. This last incident was unfortunate because we had to leave our residence due to an altercation with them. I was sleeping and your mom started to cry which woke me. I asked her what was going on and she said the people downstairs are at it again. I got very angry and went downstairs to talk to these people. I banged on the door and three very tall men came out and grabbed your mother and started punching me in the face. I managed to push them away and grabbed your mom and went upstairs to call the police. The police came and they told me that since I went down to talk with them I could be responsible and the police would have to arrest all of us. Let me tell you something. This was the officers way of not having to fill out paperwork. He knows that if he arrests someone he will have to type up all the paperwork and it will make his night very difficult. He coerced us into not making a complaint. However, we went in days later to file a complaint against them. We also got an attorney to help us get the justice we deserve.

We moved to an apartment. Right now, Daddy is not feeling happy. I'm very sad and disappointed in everything. I'm a little resentful towards your mom because she promised me that it would be quiet. All those renovations we did just to leave the place. It's making me very sad and as grandma would call it I am "down in the dumps".

Here is the problem. Your mom is out and about again looking at new properties in the worst housing crisis this country has ever faced. People are abandoning their homes and the loans they promised to pay. These homes cannot easily be purchased and I can see the frustration in your mothers eyes when she comes home crying. I feel sad for her but I feel sad inside because of this mess we are in.

Your mother is very persistent and will not listen to me. I love your mom so much, so, I had to compromise. It feels like it's a forced compromise though. I told her that I only want to live in South Orange County and she agreed to it so I'm letting her go ahead to find a new home for us, but this time not an apartment. Remember what I told you about compromise and relationships. It's critical to keep the relationship healthy. She also needs to give me more of my space. I'm asking her to compromise on that but she is just not listening.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

It is with great pleasure and excitement that I tell you that we had our wedding. We had it at a big hotel in Newport Beach. It was so expensive. Sometimes I wonder if it is really worth it to spend all that money just for one day. Well, that's what your mom wants. All her other friends and family have been married. I had family and friends fly in from New York. Your mom had family come in from Indonesia and China. It was amazing. Your mom looked so beautiful. Not just in one dress, but the many she wore throughout the night. When you get married its actually hard to enjoy the wedding day for the married couple, since you are so busy throughout it. Daddy should know, since this is the second time I've been married (the first didn't work out, but we're friends). You have to go around and greet people, take pictures and thank everyone. It was a very busy day for us. Your uncle, my brother, was the best man and he did the toast. Grandma (your mom's mom) told him to be careful of his words, beforehand. I wonder what gave her the impression that he wouldn't?

The renovations for our apartment are taking very long. Your mom wants so many changes and we're going everywhere to get materials. I'm a bit exhausted from it. As I mentioned, it's very stressful. And there seems to be some noise problem in the early AM hours from the other apartment, but we're working on it with the association to hopefully correct that issue.

We're Mr. and Ms. X. Opps, well not really. You're mom decided to hyphenate her name. That's when you take your last name and attach it to the grooms last name. So it's Mr. X and Mrs. Y-X. Well, that doesn't matter, we're the married couple now. It's going to be peaches and cream going forward from now on.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

It is with great sorrow that I tell you that your uncle, my loving brother was killed in a tragic accident. This was the man who taught your daddy how to ride a bike. He helped me learn to swim. He used to love to take us to McDonalds and for Carvel ice cream when I was younger. He made some mistakes and learned some lessons. He was done with all that, and he told me before his death about how he was looking forward to being reunited with his 5 children and wife in Florida. Once again, we had a full house at the funeral home. There were so many people that showed up for his funeral, that the line of people flowed outside of the room. He was a good father and a good person to people. He was well loved. Grandma is very upset. We all are. A child should never die before their parents. It is a tragedy when that happens.

Overall, I'm a bit disappointed with your mom. She is not coming to New York to support me like she did for Grandpa's death. Everyone keeps asking for her. Where is she, they ask me? I really, really needed her, but I understand that she had other things to attend to. I love her so much, that I forgave her for not coming. It would have been good to have her here, but I am very patient with her.

Your grandpa thinks we should postpone our wedding, and I actually agree with him, but your mom won't have that. She want's to go ahead full steam and as planned. She certainly is a go-getter when it comes to certain things.

The last time I wrote to you, I spoke about our home purchase and renovations. They have gone on quite longer than your mom expected. Home renovations are very time consuming and stressful. I'm trying to keep my wits about me. Unfortunately, I heard a lot of noise coming from a neighboring apartment the other day. It's making me a bit nervous because it's not the first time this happened. Your mom promised us that it would be quiet here. If you recall, I voiced my opinion to her about apartment living, but I made some concessions in regards to her wanting the property, because I love her so much. I hope this noise is not a continual problem for us.

Your mom still isn't getting the point that I still need my space. She keeps agreeing to it, but she keeps contradicting herself. I'll continue to be patient with her but I don't like how she insults my family sometimes when she gets upset.

I think I mentioned to you in the past that mommy got a new job. Well, she really doesn't like her manager. She keeps ripping into this guy every time she comes home to talk about her day. She also still lays it into her cousin, for giving free car washes out again. Are these people really as bad as she says they are? I listen patiently but wonder that I'd hate to be on the receiving end of that and I hope I never am. I'll be patient with her, because as I said, I do love her.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

Your mom doesn't waste any time. It's not even a month since I proposed and she is already home shopping despite there being a huge economic crisis in the housing market. Yes. Many people have lost much of their life savings as a result. Banks are failing left and right. The company I once worked for, Lehman bros closed their doors. Unfortunately, I lost all the stock that I owned from them as an employee. Oh boy. I'm excited but nervous because of the crazy real estate market. That doesn't stop your mom. She is a go-getter when it comes to real estate. She already owns two properties. She sure is hungry for more.

I decided to move in with your mom so we could save the rent money and apply it to a new home.

I keep reminding your mom about the fact that she will get the most loyal man and all she has to do is give me my space. Although she agreed, we're finding it hard for her to differentiate between giving me my space, and my duties as a soon to be husband. I'm trying to remind her, but she gets very upset with me when I hang out with my friends or family. She has a bit of a habit of insulting them as well.

I told your mom that I never want to live in an apartment ever again. You see, I've moved so much from apartment to apartment that I see the complications when people live next to or on top of other people. Some people can be very selfish and inconsiderate of their neighbors, especially when they share walls. She really doesn't seem to be listening to me though and she is insisting on buying this 3 bedroom apartment that is in the same location as where we are living now. I reminded her again and she started to cry. I held her close and asked her why she is crying, and she said that she really wants this new apartment. I reminded her about my requirements and she started to cry even more, then she told me she really likes the place. She even went as far as to promise me that it would be quiet like her apartment and that the renovations would only take 3 months. I said, renovations???

Remember what daddy said about compromise, and its importance in a relationship? Well, guess what? Daddy decided to compromise for your mommy. I guess I love her so much. I love her so much that I ignored all my concerns and issues that I've had in the past and the fact that there is a financial crisis going on. It looks like we're going to be new home buyers of an apartment after all. Guess what? Your mom even asked me to pay for it all. I'm just going to go with what she says because I love her so much.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

It is with great happiness and absolute nervousness that I tell you your mom and I got engaged! I really do love her a lot. Since she stuck up for me when Grandpa died in that fight we had with your uncle and aunt, I decided she is the one. I'm a bit nervous about this though, and I'm not the only one. You see my best friend, my brother and my cousin are all concerned that I might be making the wrong decision here. I really love her a lot, plus she is wealthy. Not that money is important. Love and respect should always be first. Life should be comfortable for me going forward. I've worked hard and earned my way but it helps to have a wife that comes from wealth, right? I mean she probably doesn't have bad habits with money and she is probably not dependent on her parents for everything (I hope). You know daddy did rely on his parents for a long time when he was growing up, but once I launched from their home I've been independent since.

I proposed to your mom on an island in San Francisco on her birthday. Isn't that romantic? We were taking photos of flowers on the island and I put the ring in front of her camera while she was taking a photo of one flower in particular. Then I got on one knee and proposed to her. Do you believe that she started to yell at me to tell me to get out of the way of the camera? Here I am proposing to her and she says get out of my way. But once she realized what I was doing she loosened up and was happy about it.

For a long time your mom was pressing me to get married. She kept on mentioning your aunt's wedding and Erica and Neil's marriage, some of her good friends. Everything was marriage, marriage, and more marriage. Of course, I love your mom and want to make her happy so I decided to do it!

Just to let you know that weeks before, I went to your grandpa and asked him if it was okay to ask your mom to marry me. He was happy about it and so was your grandma.

Something was strange about that trip to San Francisco. Before I proposed, I could sense something was awry with your mom. Daddy is like you. I am a highly sensitive person. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact many important people and rulers have been highly sensitive. It serves a very unique purpose that I will touch upon in future postings.

Anyway, your mom already has the photographer, marriage guy (not sure what you would call him since it's not a priest), DJ and everything else already prepared a month after I proposed. Holy cow!

I do have a couple of concerns. I reinforced the idea to your mom that I need my space. I told her again, I will be the most loyal man to her, but I need her to give me my space. I've mentioned what that means in a previous post to you. I hope you remember. I know your mom has a problem with organized religion as well. I told her if we have kids, they would have to be brought up Christian. Thankfully she agreed.

Aside from that, me and your mom got into a couple of arguments. You see your mom was talking to her ex-boyfriend through email. I told her that is not appropriate and she continued to do so. She also got a male personal trainer, when I suggested that she shouldn't. She apologized and promised that it wouldn't happen again. I guess I get so jealous sometimes with your mom, but I'm not the jealous type. I just want some respect. I had the same issue with an ex-girlfriend reaching out to me, and I told your mom, and when she told me to stop talking with her, I did immediately. I feel bad because I didn't tell my ex that I was cutting off communication with her. I really liked my ex. She was a good person. I feel bad for cutting her off like that. It's good though that your mom gave her ex some notice about it. At least someone didn't get hurt too badly from this.

Oh! One other thing I'm very excited about is that daddy put a deposit on a car called the Aptera and it is an electric/solar/hybrid vehicle. I'm number 891 on the list to get the car. I'm really excited about it. Imagine that, an electric car with solar panels. What a novel idea. I'll be able to drive it everywhere without ever having to stop for gas. Maybe this is the wave of the future. Imagine, electric vehicles everywhere with electric charging stations on every corner. How exciting.

Anyway, plans for you are on the way. I'm nervous but looking forward to it.

Love,
Your loving Dad

Dear Daughter,

I am sorry to say that your Grandpa in New York fought a tough battle against cancer and he unfortunately passed away in September. I've been going back to New York every three months since Grandpa got sick to spend a few weeks with them each time, to help around the house. They have been really good at my work, allowing me to go back to the office in Manhattan where I used to work before I moved. But his time finally came and he is now with God in heaven.

Grandpas funeral was nice. He was a very loved man with so many friends. We couldn't pack everyone into the funeral home it was so crowded. There were two soldiers there that provided a military funeral honor. They folded the U.S. flag and presented it to Grandma. It was very touching. Grandma was crying.

Your mom was great support. She flew out right away and helped me feel better about everything. We were at home after the funeral and I got into an argument with your aunt and uncle and your mom jumped in to defend me. I was real proud of your mom for sticking up for me. I guess things get stressful sometimes when people pass away. Later on, your uncle stated that he didn't think it was appropriate for her to get involved since she really wasn't family. Everyone made up afterwards, so all was good.

Grandpa's ashes will be spread up in the mountains in New York. Grandma made a joke that the deer that Grandpa used to hunt are now going to pee on his ashes as payback for trying to shoot them. We all laughed. She is so funny sometimes. We're all sad to say goodbye to Grandpa. He will be missed.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

One important part of a relationship is being able to listen. Your mom thinks I'm the best listener. She would come home from work at night, and I would be like her personal psychologist. Your mom was at a company that was going out of business. I would listen to her stories all night and respond to her giving her advice whenever I saw fit.

The one thing I had a problem with, was her ability to really dig in negatively towards people. There was this one guy in the office that she didn't like. I guess he smoked and used his hands after smoking to reach in a candy jar or something. This would infuriate your mom, to the point that she would rip this guy to shreds verbally. I didn't see a big deal with it. One day I met this guy at one of her company lunches and he seemed pretty nice. I got along with him very well. He didn't smell or wasn't dirty or insulting like your mom said. I'm not sure why she said all those things about him, but it brings me to another issue regarding your mom's cousin.

I guess your mom's cousin worked at the car wash or his dad did or something. He was giving all his friends in his automobile club free car washes. She would rip into him every chance she got. The funny thing is, I liked him too. He gave us a nice Christmas gift last year.

My mother, your grandma, always used to say, "if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all". That was usually when she was receiving criticism. lol! Now that I think back to it, your grandmother never speaks ill of anyone and neither does your grandfather. They are two wonderful people. Granpa is not feeling too well. I wish I was there to hug them both.

Love,
Dad

Dear Daughter,

Your mom and I went to Hawaii. How fun was that! We went to the Big Island and visited the North Shore to hang out with the turtles. We then went to Pearl Harbor to show our respect to the people that died during the war there. I even bought a flag that was flown on one of the surviving ships that were in the harbor during WWII. Your mom and I are getting very cozy together. We're so in love.

Your mom is already asking about marriage. She is so sweet. I would love to get married to her, but we need a little bit more time together. I told your mom that if we were to get married, I still need my space. I told her that she will have the most loyal man in the world if she were the type of woman that would allow me to have my space. Space means time to myself, or with my friends or with my family and she can have her space.

We did have a little incident that happened together. Your mom and I just got out of a restaurant. We parked about a block away and it was nighttime. On our way to the car, your mom and I got into an argument about the topic of giving me my space. I guess she doesn't like to share me. Sometimes she says she is okay with it, but often, actions speak louder than words. She got angry a few times when I exercised that, so called space, that I need. Granted, I could have been a little more courteous to her in some of those situations.

The argument got heated and there was a police officer coming by with the window down on his patrol car. Your mom looked at the police office and started to raise her voice even louder, as if she were in trouble. The police officer got out of his vehicle and looked at me and then her, and he asked her if she was okay or if I was harassing her. Your mom calmed down with a smile on her face and said, "yes officer, everything is okay". What your mom did there was bring some false attention to herself in order to make me feel threatened. Well, I wasn't happy with that and on the way back to your grandparents we argued more. I ended up forgiving her. She said she would never do that again, and I believe her. I love her so much.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

Your mother and I are very much in love. Recently, I had moved from my place by the beach to a bigger place in a really nice area. There's a theatre here and plenty of restaurants. They have a nice big pool and a lot of really cool people, it seems. Your mom went with me to sign the lease. When we got to the leasing office, she started to cry. I held her and asked her why she was crying and she said to me that it was because we were not doing this together. Your mom loves me so much that she wanted us both to live together. I was so touched by that. I felt really good about it, but sad for her. I thought to myself that it might be too soon for that, and besides her place is only one bedroom. I have too much junk to bring with me. Also perhaps another reason why I didn't want to move in with her was because an incident occurred between her and I. You see, on the way up to your grandparents to spend the weekend, your mom and I got into an argument in the car. Arguments are normal. People sometimes disagree with one another. In relationships we often need to communicate and sometimes compromise to settle our differences. Those are very big parts of a successful relationship. A big problem is when one of the parties get physical. Unfortunately, your mom started hitting me on the way up to your grandparents. She smacked me a number of times on my face. I was deeply surprised by this and I told her to turn around and bring me home. She begged me to continue to your grandparents and I was upset and sat in my seat sulking and silent. When we got up to your grandparents and we got out of the car, I told your mother that hitting was never to happen again. I told her that I would never get physical with a woman for any reason. and that she is to never hit me ever again or I will leave her. Your mom started to cry and begged me stating that she would never do it again. I believe your mom and I love her very much, but I don't have much tolerance for antics like that. I gave her another chance. If she does it again, I will certainly leave her. I honestly don't understand what came over her, but I forgive her and I can move on.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

The relationship between your mom and I has progressed rapidly. Sometimes, I wonder if she has some secret agenda to snatch me off the market. She's always talking about your aunt's wedding and how great it was. That's okay if she does talk about it. I really like your mom a lot. I'm going to tell you a secret, that I hope you can keep. I told your mom that I love her first in our relationship, but let's pretend that she said it first, okay? It will be our little secret. We've done a lot of traveling together. We've visited Mexico and San Francisco and we even went to Asia. In Asia we met your great great grandparents, your great aunt and second cousin and a whole bunch of other family members. Everyone there seems to have as big a home as your grandparents do in the USA. In Asia your family had servants and drivers and we got massages every single day right at their home. Your great aunts were amazed that I could eat any street food and never get sick. I love exploring the world and taking crazy risks like that. It adds to the experience. I have a pretty good stomach for a white guy. In China, people kept giving me a fork when we sat down to eat. They were surprised when I showed them how good I was with chopsticks. On our trip to Asia we went on a tour bus in China and your mom hit it off with another gentlemen our age. She would talk to him all throughout the bus tour, even sit next to him. I never complained, but I did mention it to her. Your mom said that it was because he was Asian too, and that they had many similar experiences in their childhood. She also came up with the typical excuse to disengage a man's jealousy by telling me he was gay. That means he only has feelings for other men. That's okay, I give her 'E' for effort, and quickly forgot about it. I'm not a jealous person. It's just that I love your mom so much. While in China, both your mom and I realized that people were starring at us as they walked by. We asked the tour guide why that might be the case and he told us that it was not common in China for an Asian woman to be with a Euromerican™. We understood right away. It's also not a common occurrence in the U.S. Your mom and I rarely see that combination of couples at home. I told her that we had, what I coined, as a "fusion-love", and we were the first of our kind. We both laughed. I bought a knapsack in China. It was the best design, had so many zippers and pockets. Over the course of the next few days the bag disintegrated in front of my eyes. Zippers came off, pockets ripped. Lesson learned, be careful when buying stuff there. It may look good and costs cheap, you may have a problem with it later. Well, maybe one day you will visit Asia with your mom and I in the future, after you are born.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

You’re such a lucky girl to be born in such a wonderful country. Your great grandparents on my mom’s side came to America to escape persecution and poverty. Your great grandparents on my dad’s side came here because of extreme poverty and corruption where they lived. They came on ships and around that time it could take up to 12 weeks to get from Europe to New York. Many people died on those ships from disease. It wasn't easy trip for them. Unfortunately, both families experienced some form of bias when they arrived in America for religious differences and believe it or not, the color of their skin (since my Dad’s side were Southern Europeans - that's why you have a beautiful yearly tan that I'm jealous of) They overcame the challenges they faced and thrived in this country. Here are their birth certificates.

Now to the lesson. You’ve probably learned much of this in school, but hopefully you don’t mind the refresher. What makes this country so good is that we have a constitution. Some men decided a long time ago that it would be a good idea to put these laws on the land in the place, and they did a really good job because our Constitution is the longest surviving written charter of government.

The Bill of Rights is the 10 Amendments of the Constitution (there are more). It guarantees civil rights and liberties to individuals like freedom of speech, press and religion. The First Amendment in the Bill of Rights, protects freedom of speech, the press, assembly and other free speech issues. Speech should never be inhibited. I know you tell Daddy that sometimes I talk too much, and I agree, but this is different in the respect that some people want to prevent people from speaking so that they can get their way. They might have a cause they want to push their agenda for that might not be good for all.

Let me tell you how the First Amendment grew on me. In College my favorite class was speech. (I know you’ll agree with that, because I talk too much.) In speech, we were given the task of being for or against flag burning. During that time, there was a lot of political unrest in the middle east and people were burning the American flag even in the U.S. and as a patriotic young man, I thought yeah, it’s okay if they wrap themselves in it first (that means suicide, which I didn’t condone). I did a pretty good job on the speech and the class for which I got an 'A'. It wasn’t until years that I realized the point that the professor was trying to get across. By denying them the right to burn the flag, I am silencing their right to freedom of speech. Enlightenment, despite being a late bloomer, and despite my disagreement with torching the old red and white and blue, I’ll never stop them, unless it’s on my lawn. Lol

The First Amendment applies to my postings here because it is my right to say what I want. Now, that's not to say that I can't be held responsible for lying. If I were to say something false about someone and it caused them some damage to their reputation, that would be defamation, specifically known as libel. Libel is when a false statement about someone is published in any type of written form and it causes some damage to their reputation. So, Daddy has to be very careful and only tell the truth and I'm accumulating evidence for everything I write in the event that you do see this information sometime in the future. I may have an opinion and speculate about something, and I want you to make sure you understand the difference between fact and opinion.

The First Amendment also applies to your freedom to practice religion. No one should ever take that right from you. When I was visiting in China I met up with a friend and she invited me to church on a Sunday. I happily accepted. Their Christian church was very small, about the size of two of your bedrooms put together. Everyone was so happy and nice there. They asked me to speak to them about my life in America. They sang and prayed, but they also worried. You see their government restricts religion because the they believe it conflicts with the ideology of their laws. The church I was at was transitory, meaning that it was never at the same place each time for fear that it would be shutdown and they could be arrested. I know you don't like your Sunday school class, but try and use that time to ponder on the direction of your life and how you can stay happy. If you think about the laws of this great land, they were borrowed from the ideas brought over by Christianity. Thou shalt not steal or kill. Remember those right?

Daddy has a friend that had the same judge as me for our custody case. This man told the truth about what was happening with his family online in their custody case. The judge was being unfair and ordered a restraining order against this man preventing him from seeing his children. The same judge told him he could no longer do that and ordered him to stop and remove the content. He filed an appeal against the judge's decision to silence him and won. Imagine that. A judge that went against the constitution, the very fabric of laws of this great nation. This same judge made a big mistake in my case. It was not as severe as his but it prevented me from getting the help that I need to care for you.

Justice is the ethical, philosophical idea that people are to be treated impartially, fairly, properly, and reasonably by the law and by arbiters of the law, that laws are to ensure that no harm befalls another, and that, where harm is alleged, a remedial action is taken - both the accuser and the accused receive a morally right consequence merited by their actions.

Due Process is fair treatment through the normal judicial system, especially as a citizen's entitlement.

Corruption is a dishonest, fraudulent, or even criminal act of an individual or organization, using entrusted authority or power to make a personal gain or a gain for another individual or institution.

Prejudice in favor of or against one thing, person, or group compared with another, usually in a way considered to be unfair.

Favoritism is the practice of giving unfair preferential treatment to one person or group at the expense of another.

Unethical not morally correct.

Perjury the criminal offense of making a false statement under oath, either in writing or verbally that one knows is false, and that is material to the proceedings in which the statement is made.

Appeal apply to a higher court for a reversal of a decision made by a lower court.

Harassment any unwanted behavior, physical or verbal (even suggested), that makes a reasonable person feel uncomfortable, humiliated, or mentally distressed.

libel is a published or written false statement that is damaging to a person's reputation

Restraining order a court order issued to prohibit an individual from carrying out a particular action, especially approaching or contacting a specified person.

That's it for now. I'll add more definitions further when I tell more history about your mom and I.

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

This past weekend I met your grandparents on your mom's side. We drove up to their home in the evening on Friday, and we stayed the entire weekend. I was very impressed with the size of their home as we pulled up to the gate. I knew your mom was wealthy, but I didn't realize how wealthy they were. I don't think I've been in a 10 bedroom home before. Well, maybe once, back when I lived across country for a black-tie event for a former boss. Your grandparents had a nice pool and a tennis court on the property. Very impressive.

I slept in the money room. I called it the money room because everything was some light tone of green. The furniture, bed sheets and I think even the bathroom was green. A bit monotonous but interesting, nonetheless.
Your uncle and aunt were there and your great grandma. Your mom showed me around the place, and we played some pool. I don't know how she always manages to beat me.

The next day we had a long chat with your grandma. We talked about investing and she showed us the jewelry she made. I like the fact that she watches the same news show as I do. I see that your grandma likes to wear moomoo dresses around the house, since she wore them all weekend. I could tell she was a little uncomfortable around me for the first time. She kept adjusting it in my presence. I tried not to look and turned away often, just to be polite. I don't think your mom dated a lot of Asian men. Your grandma told me that I was the closest to Asian you mom has been with. In fact your mom told me the same. Maybe my eyes, and possibly because I ate any of the Chinese food that your family brought to the table. Well, maybe not the chicken feet. We had chickens and they would step in a lot of crazy stuff.

I noticed your grandpa has a stuffed tiger in the living room. Your other grandpa (my dad), despite being an avid deer hunter was big on conservation. He might not appreciate that fact, so I never told him. He hasn't been feeling very well lately. Overall, everyone was very welcoming and friendly to me. Your grandma knew that I like beer, so they stacked the entire fridge with beer. It looked like something from a rap video. Me and your uncle had one or two of them. I also met their good friend of the family. He seems to be a nice guy. Overall, it seemed to be a good experience.

I saw a picture of your mom with her cousins. Is there any reason that she is the lightest one out of all of them?

Love,
Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

Today your mom and I went out to dinner for the first time with your aunt and uncle. This is the first time I've met them. I think your mom likes me a lot so it was nice to see her make this move. Things are moving a bit fast. We had a nice dinner but I felt a little awkward not being the same ethnicity as everyone at the table. It's not something that they did. It's just something I felt inside. To be honest I thought I wouldn't be as accepted for that reason, but they made me feel very comfortable. They were very nice and we hit it off right away. Your uncle likes to golf so hopefully we will set something up soon.

P.S. Your mom told me, that if her family asks where we meet, she said to tell them we met through a common friend. It's still a bit of a taboo concept nowadays to meet someone online. So I will go on pretending. I guess your mom really likes to keep her image up.

Love, Your Dad

Dear Daughter,

Today I went out with your mom on our first date. I have to admit I was very excited afterward. She is everything that I have been looking for in a woman. She is beautiful, friendly and successful and she really seemed interested in me too. I have to admit I pressed our date by forcing your mom to walk to the pier while she wore high heels. I have to say that she looked like she was straining by the end of the date. She kept her composure and was a real trooper about it. I did apologize afterward though. I really hope to see her again soon. Perhaps on our next date I will try to impress her by cooking dinner for her. That's if she agrees to go on one, though. Anyway, I'm so happy about our date that I've told all my friends how well it went. I'm even keeping our first emails. [EXHIBIT A]

Love, Your Dad