this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2024
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

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[–] pigup 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

There he goes again inventing things that already exist....

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 86 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Gross misuse of technology.

We're just going to ignore that there are open source plans online for motorized multi-axis articulated under-desk fleshlight mounts, and a library of videos with 1:1 motion mapping? Plus it has safety controls to ensure it doesn't snap the "cylinder".

Go green! No need for a whole robot when you're only looking to use a single part.

(I mostly just wanted to curse others with knowledge of the robo-vagina. Can't find the github anymore because a bunch of companies got in on it and dominate the search results now)

[–] Pencilnoob 40 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

I love that this exists and I think I know what I'm getting my wife for Christmas

[–] roguetrick 6 points 1 day ago

Oh nice, they've got a Blåhaj one

Image

[–] Dasus 12 points 1 day ago

We're just going to ignore that there are open source plans online for motorized multi-axis articulated under-desk fleshlight mounts, and a library of videos with 1:1 motion mapping? Plus it has safety controls to ensure it doesn't snap the "cylinder".

I was not aware, but I'm proud of the community who did that.

[–] Kyrgizion 114 points 2 days ago

"What is my purpose?"

"You give handies to Elon Musk."

"Oh God."

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

It's a horn

[–] [email protected] 61 points 1 day ago (4 children)

"You slipped and fell?"

"Yes."

"Penis first?"

"Yes, now get me out of here."

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 day ago (2 children)

“I don’t know why patients try to lie. It’s not like it’s a big deal”

[patient walks in with a butt object]

“Oh gee, how’d it happen?”

All they gotta do is not ask. I assume it’s not medically relevant. Dude’s got a cucumber in his butt, everybody knows how it happened. What’s the point in asking?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Probably to make the patient squirm and see what excuse they come up with so the job isn't as drab?

More seriously, they need to know the circumstances of any accident to be aware of potential other complications or risk factors. That's just a standard question they have to ask.

[–] Entropywins 11 points 1 day ago

You've obviously not had the same sorts of completely innocent accidents I've had throughout my life.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot 9 points 1 day ago

Million to one shot, doc. Million to one.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago

So long as the robot doesn't accidentally drop raw chicken on the cylinder

[–] schema 22 points 1 day ago

Just tell the tesla employee that comes with the robot to fake its autonomy to let go.

[–] mrslt 10 points 1 day ago

I understood that reference.

[–] mechoman444 37 points 1 day ago (3 children)

It's his penis. The cylinder is his penis.

[–] themeatbridge 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's an old meme from Reddit. Guy got his penis stuck in an m&ms tube.

[–] Zorque 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

People have been getting their penis stuck in things for as long as there have been holes.

[–] themeatbridge 13 points 1 day ago

When I was in high school, my biology class did a stream study, and the class funny guy was documenting it with a big vhs camcorder. I was standing next to him when he saw a broken drain pipe sticking out of a wall. He pointed the camera at the pipe, and called to me. "Hey, themeatbridge. See that hole? Don't stick your dick in that hole."

I laughed, because it was funny, and the class also thought it was funny when we watched it later. So funny that it became the thing everyone said to me for about 6 months. "Hey, themeatbridge, see that outlet?" "Hey, the meatbridge, see that taco?" You get the idea. I became known as the guy who has to be told not to stick his dick in things.

It was almost 30 years ago, and I still have ptsd from it.

[–] werefreeatlast 12 points 1 day ago

I also agree! I just want to clarify that I knew it was his penis before actually reading this comment because I'm smart too.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Thanks, Sherlock! We couldn've figured it out without you!

[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Oh god I remember this

[–] Anticorp 11 points 1 day ago (5 children)

1" diameter

Oof! Self burn.

[–] Dasus 8 points 1 day ago
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[–] Evotech 1 points 1 day ago
[–] Nuke_the_whales 8 points 1 day ago

I'm pretty sure I saw how this turns out on the Orville

[–] undergroundoverground 4 points 1 day ago

Sounds like they slipped and fell

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This is the second post I have seen where someone has their cylinder stuck in something is this a meme now?

[–] NounsAndWords 44 points 2 days ago (3 children)

There was a reddit thread where a guy clearly got his dick stuck in a M&M mini tube and refused to admit it, referred to it as a "cylinder" stuck in a tube, and really stuck to the bit.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago

Doing God's work.

[–] glitch1985 5 points 1 day ago

What's a "reddit" grandpa?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

Lol, looks like he is still being teased for it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago

Well... that escalated quickly.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

First we had the wankpanzer, now we have the wankrobot.

PS. I would also have accepted wankautomaton, wankpuppet, wankmechanic or wankandroid.

[–] voracitude 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)
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[–] Num10ck 5 points 2 days ago (2 children)

would a cylinder measurement assumed to be in circumference or diameter?

[–] voracitude 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well, since he said "diameter" in the post, I think I found your answer.

[–] Anticorp 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

But what if I went to the Zoolander School for Kids who don't Read Good?

[–] Death_Equity 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

There is no way you went there, the school was way too small.

[–] Anticorp 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Death_Equity 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I question the effort you put into posting over serving the needs of the colony.

[–] Anticorp 1 points 1 day ago

Okay, you got me there. I'm not an ant! There. I said it!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

Neither I think it's just a total surface area so. All sorts of ways to arrange that topology

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