vsy2369

joined 1 year ago
[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Awesome, I follow you, particularly the interest in and drive to be proudly openly queer. I hope that one day the "complete package" comes along for you but, I'm also overjoyed for you that you're in a such a loving, rich and fulfilling relationship! ๐Ÿฅฐ

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Well that's really cool. As I said I tend to be a bit more selfish myself but, I can also see that I can't and wouldn't try to fulfill all of any potential partner's needs, though I would think that they could find other ways of fulfilling them outside of another romantic/sexual partner. Again, I guess I'm just more reserved in my own (potential) relationships. However, as I said, I think it's really cool that you and your partner(s) are able to be more open in that regard and do that in a way that's fulfilling for all parties.

I find your description of your own attractions interesting. I personally a, exclusively romantically attracted to women. I'm (helpfully) also primarily aesthetically attracted to women. However, before figuring out that I was a woman myself, I thought I might be some other flavor of gay/queer and experimented a bit sexually with men. That was fairly hit and miss, mostly miss. Though I think I can say emphatically that I enjoy penis, I very rarely feel the same about the fellow attached to it. (I was never involved with other women like myself so I can't say how much I'd enjoy that, though I tend to think a lot.) Jokingly, I've sometimes said to myself that "I don't have a problem with dick, I have a problem with dudes." But, I've found that's not universally true. There have been a few men (read less than 5) who I've found both physically attractive and with whom I could imagine a pleasurable sexual relationship. Though all those men were (to my knowledge) heterosexual and most were involved with women so it was exclusively fantasy on my part and I still had no interest in a romantic relationship with any. I also haven't ever been involved with anyone on the wider gender spectrum and don't want to rule out any nonbinary, genderqueer, etc. folks simply for lack of experience. Even so, for simplicity sake I've sometimes labeled myself as a lesbian given my strong preference for other women in most arenas but, homoromantic bisexual is, while a bit more complex, much more accurate. Thank you for sharing your own experiences! I really enjoy learning about other people's journeys and sharing mine.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Ah, I hear you Ada. I'm dealing with my own internal struggles clearly but, I'm glad you brought up split attraction, as I've slowly realized that I feel the same way about my my own romantic versus sexual versus aesthetic/physical attraction. ๐Ÿ™„ I'm comforted that I'm not the only one wrestling with it. ๐Ÿ™‚ Also, I'm glad to hear there's some hope for me, though I'm not sure I could handle a polycule. ๐Ÿฅต I tend to be a bit selfish or jealous, though given that I haven't dated since I started transitioning, maybe I've grown.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Hi everybody! I'm Valerie, (I did a whole intro over on Transfem if you want to check that out), I'm 41, be 42 in a few months, I'm in the U.S. originally from one of the not great states. I live in Colorado now though, actually about to move cities here at the end of the month for a new job. And, I'm pretty reserved at first, I like to take in a situation and people through observation quietly when you first meet me. However, once I get to know folks, I am usually joyful and VERY talkative. (As will become obvious if you know me, I'm prone to being long winded. It's a problem. I've had to learn through great personal difficulty how and when to be concise.)

I'm a teacher so obviously I love working with students, seeing them grow and learn and just be their amazing selves! In my free time, I love to read so, I do a lot of that. I just finished Andy Weir's Hail Mary, before that The Book Thief, Ursula K. Le Guin's The Dispossessed, The Word for World is Forest, The Left Hand of Darkness, Lisa Klein's Ophelia, The Priory of the Orange Tree, Hood Feminism, and I could keep going but you probably get the idea. I also really enjoy video games, please don't judge, and I have a Steam Deck, since GOG had a deal I bought the Yakuza series and have started my way through Yakuza 0, looking forward to playing through them all.

I feel like I'm navigating much better now. I left a prior teaching job the summer before my 40th birthday, knowing that they would not be comfortable with me transitioning, and tutored for about a year before the leadership their realized I was trans and dismissed me (though naturally that wasn't the reason given.) I had really struggled this last year to find a new job and went through my savings, finally my parents had to help me out BUT, I got a new teaching position with an awesome and inclusive school, which I start at the end of this month. I'm very excited about pursuing this new opportunity in a new town where people will only ever know the real me, you know? ๐Ÿ˜ It's a lot so, ask me again next year and I may finally feel like I've gotten everything together. ๐Ÿ˜œ

As for a question, hmm, well, I guess I'd like to know about other folks relationships, if they're in one or not and if their partner(s) knew/met them before transition and how navigating those personal relationships have been, what challenges you all faced if any. Now, I get off light here since I'm single and have been for a quite awhile. (I knew I was trans long before I actually transitioned, even if I didn't have the vocab for it early on.) I just didn't think it was fair to a potential partner (or myself for that matter) to start seeing anyone while I was maintaining a false outward presentation and I've got so much else going on since starting transition, including transition itself that I'm just not in a place for a relationship yet. So, I think that wraps it all up. I've really loved hearing from folks on the fediverse already and I'm looking forward to talking with all you beautiful folks here on TransLater as well! ๐Ÿฅฐ

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hi Xenia! ๐Ÿ‘‹ I'm Valerie. Welcome! It's great to meet you. :)

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Hi LadyAutumn! ๐Ÿ‘‹ I am enjoying Lemmy very much, thanks to folks like you! Yes, being able to work with such courageous young people has been incredibly inspiring. It's one of the primary reasons I've continued to be an educator despite so many recent challenges. "The Kids Are Alright" as my father's favorite rock band, The Who, once sang. Thank you so much for your kind words, I'm honestly surprised sometimes by how much more joyful my life has become since accepting myself as I am. Thanks again for your warm welcome, I'm sure I'll love it here! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A pleasure to meet you as well! Thank you, I'm sure I will.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Thank you! Yes, my mom says the same thing. I was pretty good at faking happy before but now that I know what it actually feels like I can't imagine going back.

 

Hello all the folks in the Transfem community!

I thought that it might be a nice idea to do an introduction myself after coming over in the great reddit migration and being inspired by posts from Rose, bee, Catherine, LadyAutumn, and Ada (and anyone I may have missed). Also big thanks to LadyAutumn for moderating this community and Ada for being an admin for lemmy.blahaj.zone!

So, hello, my name is Valerie and I'm a high school teacher. I'll be 42 in a few months and I tend to be a bit reserved and quiet until I get to know people, then I'm sometimes difficult to quiet down. (I'll admit that I was only ever a lurker on reddit so, this post is sort of big deal for me.) I live in the U.S. but in one of the good states for trans people, although in a not great town. However, I just got a new job in a great city and I'll be moving by the end of next month! So yay!

It was actually seeing some of my students coming out and being so brave and honest about who they really were, despite potential backlash from peers, parents, and the community, that made me think "Why the hell am I hiding myself?" since I had know for over 10 years at that point that I was a trans woman. I definitely did the whole denial routine about being trans in the first place and then that dysphoria wasn't really that bad, and then that I could still live as man, until I finally realized I just couldn't anymore. So, I decided to leave that job (where I was certain that such a move would be unacceptable) and began my transition almost 2 years ago. (My transiversary will be July 31.)

In my spare time, I love to read all kinds of books, though my favorite genres are sci-fi and fantasy but, I love to jump around, fiction or nonfiction, serious or silly, it's all great. Like I said, I love to read. I also play a fair number of PC games, though I'm mostly a single player gal, as I've always been fairly shy in my personal life, as I mentioned.

Additionally, I thought it might not be a bad idea to include some pictures (as a couple of the subreddits that inspired me before and when I began transitioning were transtimelines and TransLater), just to show folks, at whatever age/stage of life they're transitioning, what's possible. So, here's a couple before shots from almost 4 years ago (note that denial beard):

And here's last weekend after getting back from my first ever Pride (I bought the necklace there.):

And one more bonus pic from 6ish months ago, just because I feel like I accidentally nailed a semi-sexy eyebrow raise:

So, I guess I'll wrap up by telling you all how much I appreciate you and this community for making me feel brave enough to post for the first time. And, to tell anyone and everyone that no matter where you are in your transition or even if you haven't yet decided whether transition is right for you that you are enough, you are loved, and you are perfect. <3