this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2023
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Shitty Million Dollar Ideas

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This is a place to pitch goofy million dollar ideas that you had in the shower, as you were falling asleep, or during a fever dream. Think of it is as shitty Shark Tank.

The usual rules apply:

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This isn't really meant to save anyone's life. But it would let someone know to come pick up your corpse before it melts into the carpet and your cat starves.

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[–] SpaceNoodle 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)

This already basically exists.

[–] solarbabies 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

yes you can also set this up in Gmail, but why you would have it contact emergency services is beyond me. if it's been that long, it's no longer an emergency!

[–] SpaceNoodle 0 points 9 months ago

For example, assisted living facilities require a check-in every day or else emergency services are dispatched.

[–] andrewth09 10 points 9 months ago

Literally just a dead man's switch.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (2 children)

This is truly shitty, nice work.

Wake up early, forget to unset the alarm, and leave for an early start at the office.

The number of false calls it would generate is so high lol.

[–] ExtraMedicated 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)

A mobile app to control it remotely could help. The app could even require access to your contact list for some reason.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

"Hey boss, I won't be coming in today because unfortunately I am deceased.

With that in mind, I'd like to take this post-mortem opportunity to let you know what a total piece-of-shit dickhead you really are...”

[–] ExtraMedicated 6 points 9 months ago

You just took this from a shitty million dollar idea to a shitty billion dollar idea.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

It could call family or such rather than emergency services

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

You can request mail carriers to do this in a lot of places. Usually a service for elderly people who are living alone. If the mail carrier notices the mail isn't getting taken out of the box they will have a process to alert someone to check in.

It is a public service provided at no (low?) cost which merely formalizes an act of basic human decency. It is not gonna make anybody rich.

[–] edgemaster72 3 points 9 months ago

Good news cuz the cat will just eat your corpse, which will eliminate some of the melting and delay them starving