this post was submitted on 10 Oct 2024
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Self Checkout [Mr Lovenstein] (files.mastodon.social)
submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by [email protected] to c/comicstrips
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[–] [email protected] 23 points 20 hours ago

My wife once sent me to the shop to pick up some hand lotion, a cucumber and a box of tissues.

The 16 year old girl behind the counter gave me a weird look.

[–] [email protected] 83 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 16 hours ago

This went from "unrealistic situations that only spergs make a big deal out of" to "gross... but 'heh'" real quick.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 day ago (2 children)

We were cracking up last time at Safeway because it announces everything you scan.

"please put your bulk potatoes in the bagging area"

And the voice changes when it says the item name, no idea why we thought it was funny but we were losing it

[–] [email protected] 5 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

The one near me just says "please place your ITEM in the bagging area" for everything. Everything is just "item" and it says "item" is in a different voice that's louder than the rest of the sentence. What.

[–] PoastRotato 26 points 23 hours ago

I love the voice change, it makes it sound like it's saying the item with massive air quotes so suddenly everything sounds like a euphemism for something terrible

[–] [email protected] 9 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I recently went to the grocery store and before I started scanning at the self-checkout, I realized someone else had scanned a box of “Men’s libido max” pills and apparently left as it required ID or something to buy, and I guess they didn’t want to look someone in the face and buy it.

So then I had to look someone in the face while they cleared it from the register, probably thinking that I was the one who had the change of heart.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 16 hours ago

Should have just stared the attendant in the eye and said "False alarm."

[–] Anticorp 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Please enter your phone number so we can sell this purchase record to our 9473 partners.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 hours ago

That's my biggest problem with self-checkouts. There's always a weird payment service provider behind them who wants to share whatever they can with their 3621 partners. I guess the same is true when you use anything but cash, including card payments at regular tills, but at least they give you the option to pay with cash. Self-checkouts usually don't (but a few do!).

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 day ago (3 children)

When you stop giving a shit about stuff like this, are you officially "old"?

Uhhhh asking for a friend...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 hours ago

Make a mantra out of IDGAF.

Oh wait, it's right there. Also deals with 'old'

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 day ago

Not old, it's called being emotionally mature (may depend on how you are processing it).

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Its more like adult i'd say. When you realize noone cares lol

[–] Zidane 20 points 1 day ago

Exactly, I've worked checkout and the only time I cared or even paid attention to what someone was getting was when family or friends went through my line

[–] fjordbasa 1 points 17 hours ago

Some people do care… but then you eventually realize that doesn’t matter, either!

[–] lowleveldata 49 points 1 day ago

You're selling this shit in your shop and I'm paying full price buying this shit. I'm not embarrassed one bit.

[–] taiyang 30 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Reminds me of when, much younger, my wife was going into a store to grab pregnancy tests. She was very shy about it but quickly grabbed them, played it off cool with the cashier and left. When she got home, I had to point out the error she made in her haste: instead of pregnancy tests, they were tests for vaginal bacteria!

Not only did she boldly look the cashier in the eye, she was ultimately saying "oh ya, you know it stinks down there and I will not be ashamed". Which good on her except she was so embarrassed when she found out.

(Real talk though, no shame of you do need to test your pH down there, or doing a bit of family planning)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 20 hours ago

assert dominance

[–] jose1324 -3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Bruh who the fuck says that

[–] kokopelli 11 points 23 hours ago

He meant saying that non-verbally

[–] qooqie 3 points 1 day ago

If you want to pass the pain to someone else you can order it on Uber or whatever and specify they go through human checkout lmao

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart 3 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Do people actually get embarrassed buying things?

[–] spankmonkey 69 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Yes, people get embarrassed when buying things for common human conditions and events all the time. There are even commonly shared jokes about it, like this comic.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart -2 points 1 day ago

I never knew.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yes, I don’t like people knowing I’ve got the shits or the size of my penis.

[–] SpaceNoodle 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Why do they even sell baby sized condoms, anyway?

[–] BugleFingers 3 points 1 day ago

Some people have dicks the size of babies. We're all about equality

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart 1 points 1 day ago
[–] devfuuu 4 points 1 day ago

Do people actually not?