this post was submitted on 09 Oct 2024
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[–] Thebeardedsinglemalt 1 points 54 minutes ago (1 children)

So I've spent the last month looking for Houses. Nothing special, nothing extravagant. I came from a 1700sqft ranch with 3 bed, 2 full bath and a car port, small town, sold for about 215, and I got 135 take home after everything was paid off.

I had to expand my budget to 350 up here just to sniff houses that aren't in absolute disrepair on the inside and would require 50+ in reno, are 1.5 bth, or someone watched a couple episodes of Flippers and did a shittier job of "updating" the inside by putting the same cheap shitty grey vinyl flooring in several rooms.

There was 1 house I really liked, good area, open floor plan and a great basement. Downside was all the first floor carpet needed to be tore up especially since there were large stains in one of the bedrooms and it was poorly installed so was already buckled and loose, and there were cheap vinyl tiles in the foyer and kitchen that showed their wear and had to be removed. Just under 1700sq ft listed at 340 and went over asking the day it hit the market.

Another house, looked move in ready. 1500sq ft, with a half finished basement. Went to look at it...the house is claustrophobic, and the carpet needs to be pulled up also because of the terrible condition. The owners "finished" the basement by putting large vinyl tiles down themselves...which have already buckled and are about an inch off the ground in several places. They have a back patio which is about big enough for a Weber kettle grill and a camp chair. They're asking 336, claimed they already had an offer when I was looking at it but I noped outta that shit. That was a week ago and it's still on the market so either they were using BS tactics or the "offer" was for what the house was actually worth and they refused it. It's also the smallest house in a large neighborhood.

[–] TinyShonk 2 points 34 minutes ago (1 children)

Why did your house sell for 215?

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[–] bamfic 8 points 2 hours ago (2 children)

Who's gonna buy it? Prince?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 hour ago

Him or a Vikings fan.

[–] doingthestuff 3 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Who? The former artist formerly known as?

The cabinets aren't so bad, paint isn't difficult. But the floors and countertops. Oof.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

See I'm the opposite. The cabinets are an absolute eyesore, but the floor looks awesome. I would love to have a floor like that

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 hour ago

It just looks like the snuffleupagus had diarrhea around the place...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 hour ago

am i high or are those cabinets just like really short? or does this kitchen have like 10ft high ceilings.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

This is PhotoShopped, but...

If it were real, the problem isn't the purple. It's the white.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago

I would like my house in dark mode please

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

I'm gonna tie you to the radiator Ggggrrraaape you!

For reference: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tmrDypTB_Y0

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago

Diamond Now. For when you need class … today.

[–] captainlezbian 13 points 5 hours ago

I stand by that I fucking love that kitchen. Add a ton of modernist architecture that makes you think and a yard I’m allowed to grow food and replace the grass with mint and I’m in.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

LOL fuck flippers. Making living expensive for everyone else.

[–] blady_blah 13 points 4 hours ago

No one did this for a flip. This reads as someone who really likes purple. That floor and countertop cost extra and someone flipping wouldn't have spent the money on that. A flip would be biting brown or gray with the cheapest materials and crappy workmanship.

[–] Snowclone 8 points 6 hours ago

Also their 'renovations' usually just need to be taken out or repaired to normal by the buyer as they rarely use proper licensed tradesmen, or check to see if what they're doing is even sound for the building. I've seen a center brick fireplace, clearly holding up the roof, just ripped out and plastered over.

[–] IMNOTCRAZYINSTITUTION 11 points 6 hours ago

yeah this goes hard, can't lie

[–] hightrix 13 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

When did Pimp my Ride start doing houses?

[–] thermal_shock 8 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

410 days ago, + or - 6 days

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[–] edgemaster72 6 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

I think we all know the problem here. Need a custom purple range and different hardware on the cabinets, would've sold in 3 days easy

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 hours ago

You never go full purple...

[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 hours ago (3 children)

I know several people who would pick this house just for the kitchen..

[–] captainlezbian 3 points 5 hours ago

I’m absolutely one of them. It’s a bit wacky, but not non functionally so. My taste leans simple but bold

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

How did you get introduced to the cast of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 hours ago

I guess I fucked one for 7 years? But she never told me she was a reality TV star!

[–] NikkiDimes 3 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Is it wrong that I kinda fuck with it?

[–] captainlezbian 3 points 5 hours ago

If you’re wrong I don’t want to be right

[–] [email protected] 35 points 10 hours ago (3 children)

15k on what exactly? They just painted the wooden doors of the old units purple.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 hours ago

Seems legit to me. Pretty much any kitchen reno is hard to keep under $10k. It adds up soo fast

[–] GlitchyDigiBun 7 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I see no before picture so I assume the marble flooring and countertops. Plus the mosaic backsplash tiling maybe? And it's entirely possible those are brand new cupboards.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Not sure of that is real marble, but here's a random PSA anyway:

Don't put marble anywhere close to anywhere you might spill anything remotely resembling acid. You can literally etch that stuff with OJ.

[–] GlitchyDigiBun 2 points 6 hours ago

Oh my god I looked more closely. I think that's acrylic resin. Ew.

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[–] j4k3 79 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Only two people in this demographic:

[–] hactar42 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

A 71 Hemi Cuda is my dream car, but there is no way I'd have that kitchen

[–] j4k3 2 points 4 hours ago

You have to be plumb crazy to own a real cuda, and that kitchen is a plumb crazy qualifier. Come back when you're ready to fully commit to the complete cuda club experience. Maybe one day...

[–] ace_garp 2 points 5 hours ago

Flippin' hell!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 hours ago

Barftastic!

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