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What are some humorous items I could sneak onto my partner's running shopping list?
(sh.itjust.works)
300kg of Plutonium
this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2024
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While not very humorous, some of the most useful permanent items on our shared shopping list include “That spice that ran out” and “That thing I was looking for the other day”. They’ve saved the day a few times over ten or so years.
This is so stupid and completely genius at the same time. It would absolutely work for me.
1 flux capacitor
2 positrons
1 hug
1 thingamajig
3 liters of blinker fluid
one simple manual excavator
1 mol of oxygen
1 µg of unobtanium
1 grimoir for casting spells
1 ring to rule them all
50 melons for grade school math problem
50 melons for grade school math problem
Actually I think I'm gonna start with:
"(10x-0.5)/2 snickers bars, where x is how much of my snickers you ate, you asshole."
I charge a husband tax too. 10% of her snacks are mine.
1 quark (no pairs please)
Here you go
or InDesign substitute
top or bottom? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
🥺
👉👈
greed is eternal
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"1 hug" is a regular addition to my fiancé's list when she asks me if there's anything I need. It's a great addition because then I get my hug!
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1 left sock
And much further down the list
1 right sock
That's a delicious idea.
One might even say its sockulent
fertilizer
gas
nails
cable
egg timer
pressure cooker
sunglasses
wig
And your partner will be soon on a list too.
very important: you need POTASSIUM fertilizer
I honestly pop in ‘yo butt’ into our shared shopping list and it usually gets an eye roll.
Deez nuts
Edit: Which I recently found is a real brand of nuts. Dee's Nutz, I believe. So be careful or you may just end up with some unexpected, delicious peanuts to snack on.
My partner does this already. The number of times I've found "tush squish" is... I've lost track.
I got him back by adding chicken hats to his online cart.
Male: condoms, canteloupe, watermelon, Vaseline Female:condoms, squash, cucumber, carrots,
As an aside, do not use Vaseline with condoms. In addition to it not being body safe for internal use, some condoms are still latex and vaseline will dissolve them. Most condoms these days are nitrile, but again see above re: internal insertion safety.
I feel like this only works if those are the only items on the list. If you also have apples, berries, potatoes, onions, shampoo and toothpaste, it's just a normal shopping list.
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Amazing present for insert your own name here
Peace of mind
1000 bottles of baby oil
Sean?
Kefir
Please explain how you think that's humorous
seems like it would be hard to track down to me but idk
I'm in the Nordics, and every supermarket I can think of would have it, but even if it is rare somewhere, how would that make it humorous?
In scotland I would have no fuckin idea where to get it lol
Pretty much most supermarkets would do, I should think. Aldi has kefir.
https://www.lancs.live/whats-on/food-drink-news/aldi-launches-new-199-kefir-29474962
I'm thinking you've not seen any because you've not looked, not because it's not there.
This sounds extremely plausible. I am culinarily challenged.
live bees
~~Staple gun~~
Band-aids
Everyone! Please keep commenting! I'm getting some great ideas here!
Pet supplies for animals you don't have. Things that don't exist but sound like things you might find at a grocery store, like pot slippers from the kitchen utensils, vegan mangos, aged vermhölsterdoif cheese, or barkley salt. Rare spices the stores your partner shops at do not sell. I get a kick out of being macabre so long pork, stray child. Ingredients your partner hates. Confusing typos.
Vanilla flavoured bananas.
Peppered mandarins.
Pickled macaroni.
you're giving them ideas! it's going to fruity pebbles Mac and cheese
so long pork, stray child
lolwut
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