this post was submitted on 01 Oct 2024
454 points (98.5% liked)

okmatewanker

567 readers
68 users here now

No foul language - i.e. French ๐Ÿคฎ

Obviously satire, dozy wankers

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 35 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[โ€“] NABDad 43 points 5 days ago (3 children)

I find myself increasingly out of sync with others regarding the weather now.

It will be warm when it isn't supposed to be, and everyone will be talking about how nice it is, and all I see is the approaching end of life as we know it.

[โ€“] [email protected] 17 points 4 days ago

That unapparent summer air in early fall

The quiet comprehending of the ending of it all

That Funny Feeling Bo Burnham

[โ€“] [email protected] 14 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I had a few trees that started budding during a warmer week last winter, before getting frozen again.
Some of the buds would literally pop.
They've had a hard time all year and a few just died.

"But yea! everything is fine! I could wear a tshirt that one day, noice!"

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Do you have different gardening zones in the UK? Like 7, 8b, 9, etc.

Over here in the States, weather patterns have already changed enough that last year the zones were updated. Seattle used to be 8b and now it's 9 (nine being the warmer of the two).

I'm curious whether you've seen the same change there.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I'm not in the UK but in Canada, maybe I wasn't clear about that seeing the community we're in.

The zones shifting slightly is one thing, but last winter we had huge swings where stuff started to sprout just to then get caught by a return to the normal freezing weather.

Shit's fucked.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Ah, my mistake. I'm still curious about the UK!

We had the same thing happen here this year in Washington. Lost a couple of plants to it, but fortunately most of them survived.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

Yeah, the last 4-5 years weโ€™ve had spring like days, 60f+ at least once a FEBRUARY, in Northern New England (20 minutes from the Canadian border).

[โ€“] [email protected] 26 points 5 days ago (4 children)

If it makes you feel better the four seasons in Cali are Summer, Wildfire, Mudslide, and Earthquake.

On the bright side my buddy from Hull lets me know when he takes his yearly vacation via pictures of ducks.

[โ€“] TexasDrunk 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You've got us beat. We've got rainy summer, brisket summer, hurricane summer, and a week of ice that no one is prepared for.

My favorite is brisket summer.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Brisket Summer is best summer! I have friends in Texas that were telling me about grapefruit sized hail years back. Weโ€™ll get hail every once in a blue moon, but theyโ€™re more a whimsical pea sized variety haha

[โ€“] TexasDrunk 2 points 4 days ago

I never know what the hell is going to fall out of the sky here, but I've got a brisket in the freezer to either cook before to get me through it or to cook after to help me recover from it.

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago

Lucky, you get 4 seasons!? Here in South Florida we get "holy fuck it's so hot!" with hurricanes, and "oh, this is kinda nice" with hurricanes.

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 4 days ago

When you feel like London but look like Hull

[โ€“] NewNewAccount 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Cali

Are you actually from California?

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Yes? Not sure why Iโ€™d lie about that ยฏ\_(ใƒ„)_/ยฏ

[โ€“] NewNewAccount 2 points 4 days ago

Most Californians donโ€™t call it Cali.

[โ€“] [email protected] 14 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

January brings the snow: makes your feet and fingers glow.
February's ice and sleet freeze the toes right off your feet.
Welcome March with wintery wind; would thou wert not so unkind.
April brings the sweet spring showers... On and on for hours and hours!
Farmers fear unkindly May: Frost by night and hail by day.
June it rains and never stops; thirty days and spoils the crops!
In July the sun is hot. (Is it shining? No it's not.)
August cold and damp and wet, brings more rain than any yet.
Bleak September's mist and mud is enough to chill the blood.
Then October adds a gale, wind, and slush, and rain, and hail.
Dark November's damp and fog; would not do it to a dog.
Freezing wet December then...
Bloody January again!

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

The summer and autumn had been so wet,
In winter the corn was growing yet,
Twas a piteous sight to see all around,
The crops lie rotting on the ground.

-- Gods Judgement on a Wicked Bishop, Robert Southey, c. 1790

Based upon a legend about a real person from ~900AD or so.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

Pretty much same on Long Island except July through mid September is Why can I swim through the air!? I've had enough heat and humidity, just kill me already!

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

August in the uk being called hot is so funny as a hungarian or basically anyone from a warmer country. Also i lived 5 years in ireland and its even worse, its only rain. No hot, no cold just 15c with rain. I heard with global warming its getting more unstable tho.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago

Ireland isnโ€™t only rain. Sometimes itโ€™s fog.

[โ€“] egrets 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Seven additional months of rain have been overlooked. It just pisses it down from September to June.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

Yea during the summer it might not rain, during autumn and winter it will rain.

[โ€“] chonglibloodsport 8 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Just like where I live in Canada, except here the cold is 15 to 20 degrees (C) colder and the hot is 15 degrees hotter.

Oh and the but snow now thing starts in late November and ends in April.

[โ€“] RupeThereItIs 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I'm a Michigander and I'm laughing at the Britt's complaining about cold and hot. Come to the upper Midwest for a few years and you'll realize just how temperate that little island really is.

[โ€“] chonglibloodsport 4 points 4 days ago

Yeah Iโ€™m just 3 hours drive from Detroit across the border. Whenever I feel like complaining about snow I check the weather and always smile at how much more you Michiganders get dumped on!

Normally I like the snow. I do get tired of it in February though!

[โ€“] HornedMeatBeast 5 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

In July it's BEES and heat for me in the south of England.

September is nice, not too hot and not too cold most of the time.

The record temperature I reached in my old flat was 37.5 Celsius. Previously it was about 35.

In my current flat I hit about 33 over the summer indoors.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago (2 children)

In accurate for those of us in the north west, where it's more like:

Jan - rain Feb - rain Mar - rain Apr - rain May - rain Jun - rain Jul - oh god it's so hot AND HUMID Aug - drought Sep - rain Oct - rain Nov - rain Dec - rain

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Looks out window, it checks out.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago

Not too far off from me in Seattle!

Jan - rain and wind Feb - rain and wind Mar - rain Apr - rain May - rain and occasional sunny day Jun - rain mixed with sun Jul - why is it hot? This is Seattle, we're not supposed to get this hot! Aug - drought and why is it hot Sep - rain mixed with sun and fire season Oct - rain Nov - rain Dec - rain

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

It snows in March but not February?

[โ€“] Smoogs 4 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Sounds like youโ€™re the Canadians of europe

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

The UK is on the same longitude of Canada after all.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago

Sounds like the Pacific Northwest (British Columbia, Washington, Oregon), minus the humid summer.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

I feel like July should be "Oh got it is so hot" and August be "Rain"