this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I only know how to type my passwords at normal speed correctly. Like, I have to walk through the muscle memory step by step to get a text version of the password and even that's iffy.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 weeks ago

In the rare occasions that my wife needs to use my phone, I need to type my (12 digit) pincode out on a number pad and read it back to her to be sure I get it right. I can type it flawlessly a dozen times a day but if I try to recite it, I screw up the order.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I hate when I try to remember my master password without typing it and panic that I've forgotten my password. But when I got to type it, muscle memory is still there so no problem.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

I have absolutely no clue what my highschool locker combination is, but I guarantee you if you handed me the lock, I could open it first or second try. That muscle memory is burned deep into my hands, and it's been over 10 years.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Two RJ ports on a laptop? Some of us are lucky to get one!

[–] AkatsukiLevi 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That's why I didn't specify which kind. I knew some laptops had a DSL or dial-up modem inside for use with any telephone sockets on the go.

[–] AkatsukiLevi 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"I miss those old ports" is what I'd say, but my laptop has 'em :3

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Both? Are they combined into a hybrid port that works with either protocol?

[–] AkatsukiLevi 2 points 2 weeks ago

Nope, it has the RJ45 in the side and the RJ11 in the back

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Where's the "check Caps Lock key" step?

[–] AkatsukiLevi 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

My laptop has a LED that lights up when the caps lock is on I installed a buzzer on it

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

I installed a buzzer on it

Definitely want to do that on all keyboards at work

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I disabled the caps lock key all together

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

How do you then activate cruise control for cool?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Colemak gang

[–] DirkMcCallahan 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

And on the third try, you think you accidentally failed to hit the last key, and so you have to start all over again.

[–] T156 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Or it turns out you accidentally left caps lock on, and now you're locked out for a few minutes.

[–] turbowafflz 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I just never slow down and take like 10 attempts sometimes. I don't know why, it isn't a good strategy

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

"mars will come to fear my botany power"

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Fourth try: total motion blur

Trust the muscle memory.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago

This incident will be reported.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

First try: password manager

Job done

[–] AkatsukiLevi 25 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Unlock the password manager

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

EZ, no password on password manager.

[Points at head]

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

How do you use a password manager at desktop login

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You implant a chip in your brain that gives it control over your finger movement.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That would be weirdly secure

[–] WhatAmLemmy 3 points 2 weeks ago

Until someone hacks your brain, or just puts a keyboard in front of you and lets the chip do its thing without your consent.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Working from home, connecting to a VM, you can use a password manager on your machine to log into the VM

And your home machine can be always logged on, or fingerprint unlock, or USB stick unlock or whatever

[–] FierySpectre 2 points 2 weeks ago

Use it on your phone, duh :P

Jokes aside I wish windows supported pin+hardware key to log in... But alas that's an enterprise only thing.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

First try: Normal fast
Second try: Push harder in case a key didn't register, still normal fast
Third try: Only use a single finger, selecting every key carefully

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Especially when your password gets reset after 3 fails like at my job, I DON'T want to deal with IT

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Not seen Nagato in a while

[–] expatriado 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

login negato

[–] devfuuu 2 points 2 weeks ago

The disappearance of Yuki Nagato.

[–] Agent641 4 points 2 weeks ago

types sarcastically slowly

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

I had a boring job years ago. We didn't have web access in the office, we did have a typing tutor program

I could already type

So I decided to learn to type again

So now I type on a dvorak layout except for the first login where I must use qwerty. About the time the password expires and must be changed I get to the point where it's muscle memory in both layouts

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Live fast and die young. Don’t ever slow down. If the account locks, then it locks.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

fourth try: just use a password manager at this time.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Then, same shit will hapen when entering the master password.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

U are supposed to fix it, password manager, not join them!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

The worst is when the password manager (KeePass in this case) is in quick unlock mode in its default configuration "enter the last four characters of your password"

Me: like I can remember how my password ends. Just let me type the whole thing

[–] Gustephan 3 points 2 weeks ago

I get around this by setting my passwords to something easy to type like *******

Completely unrelated, does anybody know why my bank balance always goes back to 0 immediately after my paystubs are deposited?

[–] KoalaUnknown 3 points 2 weeks ago

First Try

Scans finger

Use a password manager