this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2024
484 points (91.3% liked)

Microblog Memes

5559 readers
4077 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 76 points 4 weeks ago (5 children)

yeah but how good would it feel

[–] [email protected] 53 points 4 weeks ago

At least as good as passing a kidney stone, I'd imagine

[–] [email protected] 39 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] thisNotMyName 44 points 4 weeks ago

That would be part of the French cuisine

[–] NegativeInf 9 points 4 weeks ago

Like a facehugger.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 weeks ago

[Paul Robalino voice] It wouldn't be a problem because it would feel really good, actually

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 58 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] CrayonRosary 23 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

They would build up in your balls until your balls exploded.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 weeks ago

You would feel them moving around... inside you...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

No, silly, pee is stored in balls

[–] Anticorp 57 points 4 weeks ago

Can I just go back to having never read this before?

[–] Allonzee 49 points 4 weeks ago
[–] dohpaz42 46 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I’m wide awake and already experiencing nightmares. I also haven’t eaten anything today, and now I’m afraid to for fear of vomiting.

Well done! You’ve won the Internet today. I hope you’re happy.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 15 points 4 weeks ago

Good afternoon.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] mEEGal 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

from my brain

[–] 2ugly2live 44 points 4 weeks ago

Would... Wouldn't women be able to feel that? The idea of feeling that settle and I guess... Die!? If it doesn't get fertilized? WOULD We HAVE TO PASS It BACK OUT!?

🤢🤮

[–] edgemaster72 37 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (3 children)

We can call it a spworm

Edit: Didn't see that @[email protected] beat me to the reference by like, 4 hours

[–] BassTurd 12 points 4 weeks ago

Ah yes, another cultured user. Everyone should know about and subscribe to Dropout.tv for the content and to support a solidly ethical company. Sam is a saint.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 weeks ago

Of course Lemmy and dropout have a meaty Venn diagram, but this really makes me glad I haven't watched all the Smarty-pants 🤣

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 30 points 4 weeks ago
[–] RampantParanoia2365 28 points 4 weeks ago

What the fuck is this?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 weeks ago

Why would I imagine that??

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 weeks ago

Thanks I hate it.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 weeks ago

Would have so much more respect for swallowers

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 weeks ago

I wish I could unsee this greatly

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

Why is it in a spoon? 🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄

[–] Allonzee 8 points 4 weeks ago

It could flop out of a fork more easily.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

Didn’t have time to grab a frying pan.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'd just get an aquarium, fill it with water, bust into it, and see how long I could keep them alive.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

cum fetishes may mutate into
...pet fetishes? lol

[–] NegativeInf 12 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

An aquarium full of giant sperm.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 weeks ago
[–] SmoothLiquidation 19 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I think I read that Oglaf comic.

[–] HappycamperNZ 4 points 4 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago

What a god awful day to have eyes...

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 weeks ago

alright, who's got the eye bleach?

[–] Meron35 13 points 4 weeks ago

Give it some sideburns and a smiley face and you've basically got an axolotl

[–] HootinNHollerin 12 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I think I’ll take a break from the Internet now

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago

I'd have the strongest stomp in town.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 weeks ago

Truly a horrifying image!

[–] UltraMagnus0001 9 points 3 weeks ago

Mass genocide every night

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 weeks ago

talk about weapons of ass destruction.

is this what happens when you don't jerk off for 9 months?

i think for the show Alone, the males just got an infinite protein source.

[–] TwoBeeSan 8 points 4 weeks ago

I would hear the pro life argument

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

If thst is the sperm, what about the nuts? Would you see the outlines of a bunch of these fuckers just swimming around bump7ng into the walls, stretching the sack around as they go? Well atleast checking the sperm count would get a lot easier I guess

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 weeks ago

Alright, why do we have picture of that? Who made it real?

[–] tfw_no_toiletpaper 6 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] LucasWaffyWaf 5 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Shockingly, I've genuinely seen furry porn of giant oversized sperm like this.

[–] TriflingToad 6 points 3 weeks ago

of course that's a thing

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] mostNONheinous 4 points 4 weeks ago

There is a movie called CHILLERAMA, and it contains four short films. One of which is called Wadzilla, of you don’t mind a lot of CAMP you might find it funny.

load more comments
view more: next ›