this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2024
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[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

It is patterned for some people: Freckles, moles, vitiligo, etc.

There are patterns we can't even perceive too.

For the purpose of answering the question though, I'd want chromataphors I can change at will!

[–] Jimmyeatsausage 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

My understanding is most odd us do have these patterns, we just can't see them.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blaschko%27s_lines

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Yep, there's a good chunk of the light spectrum we can't perceive and so the patterns that reflect them are invisible to us.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Human skin actually does have a pattern, we're striped. But usually it's skin coloured stipes on a skin coloured background so it's hard to see.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blaschko%27s_lines

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Came here to say exactly this, only I wasn’t expecting to be anywhere as concise and erudite as you have been.

[–] jpreston2005 4 points 3 months ago
[–] LaunchesKayaks 26 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I'd be down for any pattern if it came with bioluminescence.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Skin glows blue when orcs are near

[–] Volkditty 6 points 3 months ago
[–] Cryophilia 6 points 3 months ago

I rescind my previous answer, I want glowy

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago
[–] jj4211 21 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Left half of my face black, right half of my face white. Then I could fight those no good people who have a black right side of their face and white left side.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

This results in you boxing your mirror, right?

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001 2 points 3 months ago

Damn Zetsu didn't know you hated yourself that much

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Great, now you just need a planet with a green sky that looks suspiciously like a studio background

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

I would like to be number three since it looks the most made up.

[–] LordCrom 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Sounds like another thing to be racist about for typical dumb fuck populations.

[–] Chee_Koala 2 points 3 months ago

That sort of confirms how cool the extra diversity would be!

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago

Why settle for one? In that case, squid skin and change color as you see fit.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

If human skin was sometimes completely patterned

If?

Gingers would like to have a word with you.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Can I have M05 camo?

[–] Etterra 10 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I'd like the color and texture shifting of octopodes. That would be pretty fucking cool.

After that, maybe stripes. Spots are something some humans have and it's a mixed bag.

[–] shalafi 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Dated a Jamaican woman with a bit of vitiligo. She was wildly attractive to me without being "pretty" in any conventional sense.

5'10", 110lbs. Kinky hair, but not a fro. Dark and light skin, and not just the lighter areas, all at once.

LOL, I could go on. She was a beautiful, smart and interesting woman. With spots.

[–] AA5B 1 points 3 months ago

I was thinking of this - thanks, I couldn’t remember the condition. I’d want somewhat random information after a so it can’t become another version of racism

[–] Taniwha420 1 points 3 months ago

Holy shit! This dude's pluralising in Greek!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

Paisley. Blue.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

Jadzia Dax had a nice spotty stripes combo going on. Think I'd start there.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

Trill spots!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

Well, I have freckles all over the place, so my pattern was chosen already.

[–] waz 7 points 3 months ago (2 children)

This doesn't answer your question, but I just had a great idea for an art project which includes detailed applications of different protection levels of sunblock, and a tanning bed.

I guess stripes would be an easy place to start. Who wants to try it?

[–] Chee_Koala 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

How about making fake large aureola around male nipples. Always wondered if you could hide your nipples by tanning everything but your nipples.

[–] waz 2 points 3 months ago

Such a weird idea. I want to try it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

I guess stripes would be an easy place to start

Welcome to the black tape project

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

A leopard pattern would be cool.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

Humans actually have stripes but they're usually invisible unless you are a human chimera or have some other fetal development issues. They trace the path that embryonic stem cells took to make your skin in the womb.

Anyway, I'd just make those visible.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

One of those noodle labyrinths from kids menus. Entrance is my mouth, exit is... well you can figure that out.

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[–] sanguinepar 5 points 3 months ago

Black and white stripes to match my football ⚽ team.

[–] quinkin 5 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

A pattern that camouflages me from the threats of corporate greed and Capitalism as a whole.

[–] Postmortal_Pop 3 points 3 months ago

I already develop a defined pattern during summer when my outer arms, legs, and back tan significantly faster and darker then my inner and chest regardless of how much sun I get. I think I'd like the same style but with a defined color difference, like Nigerian on the outside and Polish on the inside. Though if I got to pick Unnatural colors I'd go for charcoal grey outside and porcelain inside. Really accent my natural affinity for tattoos.

[–] Cosmicomical 3 points 3 months ago

Louis Vuitton

[–] merari42 3 points 3 months ago

You can completely pattern your skin thanks to tattoo technology already. I'd go for the pattern I have now anyhow: A cheesy white t-shirt pattern on my torso and a brown face and and arms.

[–] Audalin 1 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I'd be down to be white and brown like a cow or horse, except that I know what vitiligo looks like with human skin and it doesn't really look good so I'd prefer just a solid color (don't care which color though).

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