this post was submitted on 19 Jan 2024
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You'd probably need someone else to call on your behalf. If you have, how did it turn out?

Edit: There seems to be some confusion about what I'm asking. I'm not talking about fake references. I'm talking about calling your reference on the sly to see if they're actually going to give you a positive review.

For example things don't go well with your landlord and you suspect they're going to depict you as bad tenant when you put them down as a reference while looking for a new place.

The same thing could be said for bosses and jobs.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I once had an intern who previously worked for me call and ask that I be used as a reference, but lie about what they did and for how long. I was like: uh… no if I get a phone call I will describe your role accurately.

Crazy that they would think anyone would do that

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'd probably be willing to lie depending on how far out it was. Like if a job asked for your references for the past four years and they were there for three I'd probably fudge the numbers

[–] [email protected] 23 points 8 months ago

At one of my old jobs, someone who was a manager at another business called and assumed I was a manager as well. He asked for a reference on an employee who had recently quit. The guy who left hadn’t been very good at the job, but he was a good person, clearly trying something different in a new field. I gave him a good “reference”, and the other manager sounded happy.

I wonder how it went for my old coworker…

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'm not sure what it's like in other countries but in the UK most of the time they will not be able to say anything bad about you even if you were awful

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] 200ok 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Not OP, but I heard that if you don't get a job because of a bad reference, and you can prove they were misleading, then you can sue them for defamation.

Many people don't want to take the risk, or say, "I'd rather not comment on x".

[–] Crashumbc 9 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Exactly, most larger company's HR departments beat into the managers. You only give out that they worked there, their position, and how long

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

I've also heard it's common to ask if they are eligible for rehire. It's an easy way to get a feel for them without any actual details that could bite you.

[–] sylver_dragon 12 points 8 months ago

I've had previous co-workers and managers contacted as part of a background check. I imagine the companies I worked for were contacted as well, though I don't know that for sure. As for actual job references, it's been less about the company itself and more about the people I worked with.

For example, I worked at one company for a number of years. Eventually, I left that company and worked at a different, unrelated, place for several years. Then, when I was again looking to change jobs, one of my previous co-workers at the first company passed my resume to his boss, who had also worked with me at the first company. They were looking to hire someone to be a contractor for a third organization, and the person responsible for managing people at that third organization was also someone I had worked with at the first company. They all remembered me and had liked my work. Basically, my resume bounced from desk to desk with everyone saying, "yup hire this guy."

You never know when the people you have worked with before will be the people who get to decide on hiring you later. Always try to leave on good terms, it may come back to you later.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It worked great, usually I'll arrange for a reference while leaving my previous job but doing it retroactively works too. Usually I'll prefer a reference from a work friend over someone with an impressive title.

[–] grabyourmotherskeys 14 points 8 months ago

And this is why you don't exit a job by soaking the bridges in jet fuel and lighting them up with a flamethrower.

I have left jobs where I literally wanted to punch my boss out but stayed professional and got a
good reference.

I have also watched people lose their minds and yell insults and threats while being escorted out.

Your ego is bullshit. Leave on good terms and get a better job.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

One time my buddy got fired from Jiffy Lube so I changed my voicemail to 72nd street Jiffy Lube and gave glowing praise as his manager.

[–] son_named_bort 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Why would you put your landlord down as a reference?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago

Because you need one for your next landlord.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

You mean like a random person at your previous job? Why wouldn't you get a reference from a coworker/manager/boss that you were friendly with during that employment? Lets be honest, if everyone at that place hated you & you have no one friendly there to give you references then you probably should avoid using anyone there as a reference.

It's also possible I'm overthinking this, right now I work at a small business whose owner is very spiteful & always talking badly about people he dislikes (employees & otherwise). That would absolutely be the last person I would use for a professional reference if/when I leave the job, LOL. Luckily all my coworkers get along great so I'd have plenty of other references to use there.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

No I'm talking about situations where you want to find out if someone is actually giving you a positive reference in situations where things might not have ended on the best terms.

For example someone quiting because they said they couldn't work Wednesday and their boss calling them lazy.

You could get a friend to call posing as a potential employer to find out.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

On the flip side, I've told people flat out not to use me as a reference because I'll be honest in what I think of them.

[–] nutsack 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I am the perfect tenant why would I do this

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Being perfect doesn't mean a lot to some landlords. They'll still try to find something that rubs them the wrong way.

A lot of the time people find out when they go to get their damage deposit back