It's been a challenging journey with this recent strategy, spanning approximately four years, involving significant time, financial resources, and effort. This week, however, marked a pivotal moment in our case. The judge presiding over our case denied my ex-wife's request to appoint minor's counsel for our child. Minor's counsel, an attorney representing the child's interests, typically charges between $300 to $500 to listen to the child and guide the parents accordingly. My ex-wife's intention seemed to be to use this as a strategy, influencing our child against me and setting the stage for a future living arrangement change when she turns 14, all while using the resources of Minor's Counsel to do so.
Our case has seen about a dozen judges over the last decade, and this particular judge has demonstrated exceptional thoroughness and logic in their approach. Despite my ex-wife and her attorney's fervent efforts to influence the judge, including various claims and statements, the judge remained unbiased in his decision-making process. At one point my ex-wife even told the judge that she can no longer afford her mortgage payments, which was irrelevant to the matter at hand. Meanwhile she owns 4 properties, each over a $1M in value, and makes 3x my income while I live in a shitty rented apartment.
I am concerned about the ongoing conflict and its impact on everyone involved, especially our child. I hope that those close to my ex-wife, including her family, friends, and attorney, can encourage her to seek support or therapy. It's important for her well-being and for moving beyond the anger and jealousy that seem to be driving these actions, affecting not only her and me, but especially our child. Please help.
Mom's latest:
Wilma still has homework and sounds like she is not anywhere near home. Before agreeing to taking her to places knowing you need to get her home, needing to get your car serviced for long distances, please have discussions with her about whether she has completed her homework so that you can plan responsibly and accordingly so she gets home at a decent hour so she is rested for school. She has math homework due tomorrow and 2 study guides due on Wednesday. Last time she didn’t get the study books done because you distracted her and she wanted to come home when you were drunk.
Please plan better.
This above was in reference to the course of a long weekend when our daughter typically doesn't have homework and we went on a long and very fun trip together. Prior to that, my ex-wife had her an entire week. During that time she could have worked with her to get anything she needed to have done, during her time. I'm sure by now my ex-wife is putting on a good story to her family, friends and attorney, telling them she doesn't have narcissistic tendencies and that I'm the one that is an alcoholic and mentally unstable. I can tell you it takes a very strong person to deal with this type of behavior without snapping. Fortunately, I have a high threshold for pain, both physically 😉 and mentally, as I'm sure some of her family already know.
This above behavior is explained very nicely in this article: Covert-Aggression and the Gaslighting Effect:
https://www.drgeorgesimon.com/covert-aggression-and-the-gaslighting-effect