Anxiety

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Community for individuals with anxiety for exchange and helping each other.

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I was worried about getting matches on dating apps; now I have them yet can't get myself to message back (self.anxiety)

submitted 9 months ago by _number8_ to c/anxiety

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it's just you hear so many horror stories about it all. both about the apps themselves and just from people's bad relationships in general. it's a huge life change to go from single to actively going on dates [or whatever the term is], i feel like, because you're being emotionally vulnerable, which is important / challenging, and committing to a lasting thing ostensibly as well. and i'd have to make sure my apartment is cleaner in all the specific neat little ways.

i mean i want to message back but every time it's like i stress myself out and overanalzye what they said and what i should say and i can't even enjoy it -- does anyone enjoy that part?

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[–] coyootje 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

As someone who also struggled with this I'd say that just a simple "hi" will most likely already do. The one person I matched with on a dating platform (my current partner) said I was the only one that just simply said hi instead of trying some cheesy pickup line (or immediately talking about sex).

As mentioned above, I struggled with joining an online dating platform for a long time and when I did it took me a month of active swiping before I finally got a match. I was really nervous but I acted a bit more confident than I was (at first at least, before opening up later during our first date) and we've now been together for over 5 years.

[–] glimse 4 points 9 months ago

You got lucky. Opening with "hi" may be slightly better than a cheesy pickup line but most people won't reply to someone putting 0 work into the conversation. You're giving them nothing to reply with besides another "hi"

Just open something relevant to their profile that's not alluding to sex and keep it short/casual