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How do you handle the insane entitlement of women on dating apps? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I don't think I've spoken to a woman on Tinder who is actually interested in dating. The majority of them don't ever reply, the few that do put zero effort into the conversation and often just want money. Once in a while a woman agrees to meet then just doesn't. What the actual fuck? How do you guys handle this bullshit?

Before I get called an incel 1000 times, I am already doing everything right. I'm in therapy, I exercise every day, I eat healthy, I have diverse interests and several friends. I have paid people to review my profile and conversations and everyone agrees I am doing everything right.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The majority of them don’t ever reply, the few that do put zero effort into the conversation and often just want ~~money~~ sex. Once in a while a ~~wo~~man agrees to meet then just doesn’t. What the actual fuck? How do you ~~guys~~ girls handle this bullshit?

To be fair, I heard very similar stories (see the minor edits) from my dates. Apparently, dating sites suck for both sides. Low effort, low result.

It helps your own sanity and attractivity to not generalize and act as if the other person is genuinely decent. If they are not, move on. If they are, at least you did not screw them up for the faults of other people.

Yes, lots of women are interested in actually dating, but many, like you, suspect every other person to be a horrible experience. So each side is busy with their negative expectations and fears, plays defensively. And of course, the asymmetry does not help either.

Generally, I think it makes sense to slow down or stop or change if what you are doing becomes too frustrating for you.

Or maybe my experiences don't translate well to your area/bubble/whatever. You could talk to your female friends and see what their experiences are.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Well said! I was going to pop my head in here to say something similar to the "low effort, low result" idea. I think that's primarily the problem. Meeting people with substance isn't just a swipe away, but most people on those apps think it is.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Looking to connect with people via sex is NOT the same as trying to manipulate lonely people with false hope so they give you money...

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

Ok? That's not what I meant or said. If you approach people with this self-centered negative attitude, no wonder they don't connect.