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Huh I always feel like it's easy to say that you can be yourself and it will be fine, but it doesn't hold to reality.
I've been myself my whole life (36 now). I've been alone my whole life, and at this point I doubt I can do anything about it. My job is shit, but branching away would be an ordeal.
I tried for so long to be my own self, but now I feel like a failure and this would mean that my own self is a failure. Yet I did everything "right".
I'm not depressed anymore. But I'm not away from that dead end either.
What I know is that I can't just be myself. I need to be more social, to seek people more than I am comfortable doing, to do things I don't particularly like. Or I'll stay in my hole of lonelyness.
"just be yourself" imply strong social skills, and often an already strong basis for your life to go. It's hypocritical or delusional for people who don't have these resources and skills. You need both before you can be yourself and get a comfortable life.
If you're missing resources, you need help. If you're missing social skills, you need either help or a model.
Amen. I feel like "just be yourself" is toxic advice because "being myself" is what go me in this entire mess in the first place. If I'd been someone else, I'd have been much better off.