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Closing a bank account is as easy as legally possible. They are already highly regulated, and there's a lot of paperwork to protect you from having your account closed without your permission. You can literally go into a bank if you want help. That's not the same thing as a gym at all.
I can't actually walk in. There's no local branches for this particular place. But even if I could, they can't close it while transactions are pending. And if new transactions hit, the account goes negative and then you can't close it until you bring it back positive.
I understand there are fraud concerns on both sides of that coin. But it isn't easy.
Of course you can't close it with pending transactions. Pending transactions can be reversed or changed. It's another legal issue. That's not really a bad thing.
Also, why did you get an account at a bank with no branches? If you want that, you can just get a credit union account.