Not The Onion

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Man who said he'd 'pluck out' VP Harris' eyes was baffled when feds appeared at door: Complaint (lawandcrime.com)

submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/nottheonion

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[–] qx128 144 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Turns out violent threats are not protected speech under the first amendment. Who knew?!

Fuck around and find out.

[–] Zombiepirate 65 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Good people of the jury, my client is guilty of nothing more than merely forgetting to append 'in Minecraft,' to his statement."

[–] morphballganon 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

He specified using pliers. Are there pliers in Minecraft?

[–] Zombiepirate 24 points 2 months ago

I've been told there are mods for everything.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They are if you're in Congress

[–] qx128 10 points 2 months ago

Oof. Sadly, events of the last few years support your statement. 🙄

[–] The_v 5 points 2 months ago

Up to 5 years to think about it.