Out of the loop

i dont think repeatedly accusing me of being disingenuous, arguing in bad faith or putting up straw-men is warranted, and it doesnt really give me the idea that youre actually interested in good faith arguments
it feels exactly like reddit-style toxicity, and i dont think its fair to respond with that when i dont see that sort of thing in my comment

If that's your take from my comment then I won't be the one telling you you're wrong but the language I used tried to specifically avoid this. For example, “Don't be disingenuous” “to do x would be arguing in bad faith” “to imply x is purposefully disingenuous at worst” all avoid directly accusatory language like “You are being disingenuous” “You're arguing in bad faith” and so on.
Maybe the difference between the two wasn't conveyed clearly enough and that's my mistake.
As a side note, I'm not actually interested in arguments, either good or bad faith. I think I made that clear with my first comment (Yet here I am, I know right)

it doesnt seem at all like folks are spending more effort complaining about tankies than fascists, and the way youre describing this site is so far removed from my experience with it that im entirely convinced its just specific to Kbin

That's why my first comments were always referred as being my personal experience (I didn't bother to keep repeating “IME”). Two persons can have totally different experiences and interact with very different kinds of posts in an organic way, and that's valid.
Although I will say several people have replied to my previous comment stating they've had similar experiences regarding finding lots of anti-tankie memes and circlejerking, not that it adds much validity to my personal experience and opinions, but it means it's not just me or that I came up with it.
I don't really know how much of it is limited to Kbin since that's as far as my interaction with the Fediverse currently goes.

we are specifically talking about tankies, which are hard-line marxists who shamelessly support inhumane regimes, on lemmygrad, a terminally online space which usually supports the current russian imperialist oligarchy

You are using the flawed logic of “all Lemmygraders are tankies ergo all tankies are Lemmygraders”. Like I said before, most of the posts and comments are addressing tankies as a whole, and using the term interchangeably with the people on Lemmygrad to mean one and the same. Maybe you aren't consciously doing it (I don't think you are), maybe you just want to discuss the specifics of the Lemmygrad community, which I'm not interested in at all. But you have to recognize this is being done and that it effectively thwarts any attempts at honest and civil discussion, it further muddies the waters.
Because I take no interest whatsoever in Lemmygrad and Lemmygrad-related discussion, but I'm quite bothered and annoyed at the posts calling out and complaining about tankies, most of the time referring to the Lemmygrad people with that name. And like I said, others and I have run into posts like this.

I'm at a complete loss at how you took any of that from my comment, and i genuinely dont know how to respond to this or address it because I dont know what its responding to

I'm kinda baffled at how you could not see the conflation of the terms tankie and Lemmygrader, I'm gonna insist in that this is not a direct accusation (“Implying x would be y“) or something that I took from your comment. But rather a reality that must be acknowledged because it is happening and it is being done, and it effectively affects any and all kind of attempts at discussion in a negative way. (Are we mad about Lemmygrad, or are we mad about tankies? The difference is quite important)

I feel like we are not going to reach common ground in that last point so all that is left is for me to wish you a nice day.