23 year old AMAB. All my life, I've considered myself cisgender, but recently, I've begun questioning that. I'll sometimes see posts like "if a potion/pill/button existed that could turn you into the opposite sex, would you use it?" and think to myself "Yeah, I'd be down to at least try that." I know that doesn't automatically make me trans, but it does make me question.
At the same time, however, I get a lot of euphoria from presenting as a man. When I start questioning my gender, I'll look in the mirror, or at pictures of myself, and think "I look good with this masculine hairstyle", "I like getting dressed up in a suit and tie", or "I want to try growing a beard". And the idea of being a father someday does bring me a lot of joy.
I've done a bit of research already, and based on my experience, I think I've narrowed my possible identities down to two options.
- Cisgender male who is just curious about the female experience
- Demiboy with a secondary identity of female
The thing is that I'm not sure where to go from here. This isn't exactly a problem, since I feel no dysphoria when presenting as a male, so am comfortable living as cis in the meantime. But I would like to figure this out at some point, ideally sooner than later. Do any of you have any suggestions?
Side note: I'm currently living with my parents, and while they're generally nice people, they hold some pretty transphobic views. I do expect to move out sooner than later, but anything that would require a totally safe physical space might have to wait.
This sounds familiar, I'm kinda the same way, I describe m'self as male as I happen to be that way, but if'n it changed tomorrow? Sure, why not, in fact several of my online characters are intersex, specifically the ones that I would be most happy becoming.
Yep, the ones that feel most right are a little from column A and a little from column B.
When it comes to sexuality, I've given up trying to figure that out, and simply refer to m'self as queer, since I think that and my gender are a bit mercurial, so an umbrella term that basically means not 'normal'/traditional/standard seems best.
Best I could say is do what makes you happy, and be patient, it's a journey, sometimes one without an end, sometimes with, so just explore and enjoy.
Thank you. I'm definitely not trying to rush, because I realize this is something to handle delicately.
On the subject of sexuality, that's actually something I'm quite certain of. I'm attracted to women and only women. Labeling that might be a little difficult if I do end up being NB, though.