this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2024
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When Sarah Harris went in for surgery to remove her wisdom teeth in the summer of 2020, she must have thought she was in good hands. The oral surgeon she chose, Dr. James Ryan, had years of training, a good reputation and a thriving practice near her Washington, D.C.-area home. As a new patient at 23, she may never have dreamed he'd allegedly watched her when she was just 14. And Ryan would do more than take out Sarah's teeth. Her family says he would take her self-control and eventually take her life.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (6 children)

Dude is a manipulative creep. He spent years stalking her, love-and-money-bombed her and her family to get her affection, then used drugs to control her until they killed her.

If you think anything he did is remotely normal, I feel sorry for the women in your life.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (4 children)

Can you help me understand love-and-money-bombed?

That sounds kinda great compared to my 20s, in which I had no love nor money and was ultimately miserable and lonely.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 hours ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] -2 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I'm struggling.

This sounds like the start of most relationships.

Perhaps separated by degree, but mostly the wealth imbalance.

Right 50 year old showers young desirable woman with gifts, hardly uncommon.

[–] Doomsider 5 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

In this case it is not a normal relationship. The person who is love bombing is not being genuine. They are manipulating someone to get what they want.

50 year olds pursuing 20 year olds is not common and definitely is creepy when it happens.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 hours ago

That's subjective.

If you have a narrow definition of a "normal relationship" then sure, anything else is creepy and weird and someone must be manipulating someone.

I'm sorry to inform you that there are a great many 50 year olds who would absolutely party with 23 year olds given the means. In fact I would suggest that almost all sexually active 50 year olds, who are free of romantic entanglement would knock on that door. Fewer would be interested in setting up a long term committed relationship, but still a significant portion. Bars and brothels and strip clubs are full to the brim with these "abnormals" every night of the week.

Actually, there are a great many cultures in which this type of age disparity is the norm. I'm certainly not arguing that it's ideal or even "better" than your definition of a "normal relationship", just demonstrating that your views are indeed subjective.

It's really only creepy if the 23 year old doesn't appreciate the attention, or doesn't reciprocate, or is manipulated.

Yes it would be possible for a 50 year old to manipulate a 23 year old with lavish gifts. It's also possible for a 23 year old to manipulate a 23 year old with lavish gifts. It's also possible for a 23 year old to manipulate a 50 year old into giving them lavish gifts. It's also possible for a 50 year old to simply want to impress the object of his desires with nice things.

It's absolutely fine for you to find the age disparity creepy. It's also absolutely fine for others to engage in this type of relationship.

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